Showing posts from August, 2015


I am a pretty low maintenance lady.  I don't own a flat iron.  I do own a hairdryer.  It's... somewhere.  Maybe in my closet?

I don't wear heels, I rarely wear pantyhose. 

I have some nice perfume, but I don't wear it often.   I haven't gotten botox, I don't do facials often at all.

I wear a little makeup - most of which comes from Walgreen's - with the exception of lipstick - Clinique really does have the colors and formula that suit me best.  But even that's pretty low end on the spectrum of shit that I could buy to put on my face.  And I usually buy when there's a bonus.  So... yeah.

My skincare regime is a combination of Neutrogena and Neglect.  And it works for me.  Aside from large pores and resting bitch face, my skin is fairly consistent and problem free.

So, yeah - I sit here in a pair of old khakis, and Obama t shirt and Birkenstocks.  Hair unwashed and in a ponytail.  No bra. 

And I am thinking of all the shit I need to do to keep looking…

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

I've been posting recently about troubling or distressing dreams.  But here's the thing.

Two nights in a row, I've had great dreams.

Night before last, I woke myself up laughing.  Not the first time it's happened, but the first time in a long time.  I don't recall exactly what made me laugh, but there were some kids putting on a skit to fund their invention - something like a Cat Aquarium.

Again, what exactly made me laugh in the dream hard enough that I woke up laughing, who knows?  More to the point, who cares?  I remember thinking, "If I can still wake up laughing, I'm not broken!"  And for someone who felt a little broken.  Ok, a lot broken, it was a revelations.

Guess what?  I'm far from broken.

Last night, I had a dream that some family members were having a party, and as part of it, they were presenting a key moment in the lives of everyone in the family.  The first two were a recalling of times that the members fell in love.  They came to …

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit...

So, recently, I've discovered the joys of cheap massage parlors.  They tend to be, in my limited experience, Asian owned and operated, and they are vaguely seedy.

Dim lighting, curtained off rooms, tables that don't raise/lower.  There are no showers, robes or anything fancy.  Go in your room, disrobe, get on the table and use the provided sheet or towel to cover as much as you can.

But the price is right.  What I'm saying is, it's really a matter of when, rather than if, I get hauled into jail for "soliciting prostitution" - and cleared/released immediately.

This is the sign hanging in the room of the one I went to in Douglasville, GA:

I showed this to my friend Andrew, who asked what happens if you show up without underpants.  I don't know, and I don't want to know.  This lead to a brief (heh) discussion of where one might and might not prefer to go commando.

Anyway - this weekend, I went to one that also had a sign, which I attempted to photograph…

Hold the anchovies...

I ate some pizza before bedtime last night.  Absolutely unnecessary, and I ended up having horrendous nightmares.  Unlike the nightmares from two nights previous, there was no un-dead Dad to deal with.  Yep.

I woke up and one point sweating with my heart pounding.  That happens from time to time.  I suspect anxiety, apnea... I don't know.

Anyway. Last night I had a long dream about helping a family in trouble try to navigate their mobile home to a city that I know how to get to in real life, but couldn't find in the dream.  They got there and opened a restaurant.  Tacos.

Then, I was working in a futuristic dystopian society for an event plannner.  And she had all these dead animals in the back room and I had to, at one point, dissuade a customer from eating off of tray of dead, plucked parakeets that he thought were curried shrimp without making the planner mad.  Or the customer.

The dream shifted, and I was in trouble in this dystopia for being defiant.  They towed my car and…

Nut Cup

This is kind of an assortment of things, as will happen:

1.  I wrote a pep talk e mail to a friend today.  It was a good one.  So good that I need to keep it and send it to myself sometime.

2.  Ashley Madison.  Holy shit, adulterers gonna adult.  So they release a bunch of names and some of them appear to be famous people.  I'm aware, at least in theory, of what Ashley Madison is.  My question is, why would you use your real name and email?  Why wouldn't you create a fake hotmail account with a fake name (I'm a fan of Haywood Jablome), and pursue your bliss quasi-anonymously?  I mean, I'm not super clever - surely I'm not the first person to come up with that as a viable solution.

2a. More to the point, why would you join a website to fuck around on your spouse?  Why would you create a paper trail of your indiscrection.  Maybe I'm just devious by nature, but I'd think that NOT GETTING CAUGHT is the first rule of a successful extra-marital affair.

3. Jared f…


Last week,  President James Earl Carter - you'd know him as Jimmy - announced that he has cancer in several areas in his body, and that he'll be undergoing treatment at Emory in Atlanta.

So, President Carter may not have been the best president.  I'm a Democrat, and even I'll admit that his time in office was... lackluster.  With the exception of the installation of solar panels at the White House (removed by Ronald Reagan).

But even the biggest reddest conservative would have to admit, Jimmy Carter the man, the humanitarian, is a fine man.  A good man.  He is what I, a non-Christian, would use as the poster child for what a Christian should be. 

And the fact of the matter is, he's ninety years old and has cancer.  So, realistically, he won't be around forever.

You can't be a Native Georgian without some thoughts on President Carter.  Here are mine.

When he was elected president, my parents took the Amtrak to D.C. for his inauguration.  My mother has his b…

Killing it, crushing it.

It's a good week.  Lots of fun people in the office - including me!

We went shopping for some back to school duds for the neighbor kid - he's eleven now, and his middle school doesn't do uniforms, which is kind of a bummer, except if you're him.  He likes comfortable clothes in bright colors - so we picked up some fun stuff.  Including some killer fun football cleats - they're kind of zazzy in a black and white stripey pattern:

Not these, exactly, but close.  I was the one who spotted them first.  Tell me you don't now want to start playing football.

He's a fun kid.  We went to get gyros for supper afterward.  His choice.  Great kid.

Piper is doing great.  Starting to mellow.  She loves her outdoor kennel, and I think it makes a big difference for all three of us.

Work is good - I had customers in the office yesterday who I've known for awhile and I like a lot.  They specifically requested me for the assignment.

I'm jamming out to show tunes, comedy…


What a whirlwind weekend, but also, what fun!

So, some of the Mainers are coming this week for a big meeting, and sticking around to get some Nashville flavor for the rest of the week.

One of my pals came down early with his wife and daughter - these were the folks nice enough to bring me to Bar Harbor when I was in Maine three years back.  So I took them around town and tried to repay the kindness.  We had a great time.

In a lead-up to their arrival, I cleaned the house big time.  It was amazing.  I worked hard, but the juice was well worth the squeeze.

Piper is relaxing, I have laundry going, a fridge full of good groceries, and tomorrow I'm going into the office where I'll be surrounded by fabulous people.

It's good.

It's also possible that getting back on antidepressants was a good move.


Eh? Aaaaaaaaaah!

Twice in the last week, I've introduced myself and the person on the other end heard me say my name is Ellison.

It's not.

I need to work on this.  I have, in past, been mistaken for Ellen, as well.  My longish As sound like shortish Es. 

For someone who prides herself on a neutral accent, clear pronunciation and eloquent diction... I view this as a chance to work on it.

I have, as it turns out, plenty of time to practice my vowel sounds.  I head back to Georgia today to finish up with a customer.  A pleasant customer, which makes it easier.  The hard part is that I'll be away from my precious pooch, and it's all driving. The customer wants to visit all three of their clinics in the two day span.  Contractually, I have the right to say, fuck that.  Nicely of course.

Realistically, I'll be schlepping to three clinics in two days.

And then home - and I'm not back on the road again til the end of the month.  Which is AWESOME.

So, that's the latest from here.  P…