McSweeney's passed - their loss is your gain!
Is
it true that your fries are salted with the tears of people who were
disappointed when you took the Carrot Raisin Salad off the menu?
Does
it make you mad if people spell Chick-fil-A wrong? If they don’t
capitalize the A or they do capitalize the F?
Back to Carrot Raisin Salad for a minute – any chance they’re going to start offering it again?
Are
you being held captive by a cult? Blink rapidly if you need my help.
Is
there an additive to your lemonade that makes me want your food on Sundays?
Are
people always cracking dumb jokes about wanting your food on Sundays?
How
many of your co-workers are also your siblings?
What
is your personal record for nuggets eaten in a day?
Am
I the only one who orders two boxes of Chicken Minis at breakfast?
Did
you know that your diet lemonade mixes really well with Vodka for a refreshing
lower-cal adult beverage?
Are
the fries waffle-cut as an homage to the Shroud of Turin, or is that just a
coincidence?
How
many time in an average lunch shift do you consider walking in front of a
moving mini-van?
Which
is worse: a mall Chick-fil-A at Christmas, or a free-standing location at
noon on a Wednesday?
Is
it true that there are only sixteen models of Chick-fil-A employee, and they’re
being cloned in a secret underground laboratory in Atlanta?
How
is everyone who works at Chick-fil-A always so happy?
Is
it drugs? Don’t give me that “God’s Love” bullshit, what kind of drugs?
Are
the drugs that are keeping you so happy also being used to marinate the
chicken?
Or
is that pickle juice? I’ve heard it’s pickle juice.
Are
you sick of the cows?
Would
you be a little happier if they at least learned to spell a little better?
Do
you all hang out together on Sundays talking shit about your friends who are
suffering at Burger King?
Can I get a refill? Diet lemonade, light ice.
Is it really your pleasure? Be honest.
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