Alternate Boarding Groups on Today’s Flight 374



Entitled Executive Platinum Douchebags

Middle Managers from the Midwest Wearing Dockers

Solo Parents With Multiple Small, Sticky, Crying, Uncooperative Children (and a Stroller)

Excited Grandmothers Who Want To Talk

Physically Affectionate Couples (Formerly The Mile High Club)

Passive-Aggressively Fighting Couples

Crying Long Distance Relationshippers Headed Home      

Drunk and/or Sunburned Dudes (Starting With Red Neck Then Proceeding With White Collar)

Bachelorette Parties Where We’re All Mad at Megan Because She Checked a Bag After We Clearly Decided To Just Do Carry-Ons, But of Course It’s ALL About Megan and Her Drama

Walking Petri Dishes Who Had Better Not Get Me Sick, Motherfuckers

First Time Travelers

Smelly Folks: Food or Personal Odor

Situationally, Spatially Unaware, Loud Student Athletes With Giant Bags of Gear

Those Who Are Reading a Life Altering a New Age/Religious/Self Help Book and Want to Discuss Their Journey

Cocky Guys in Suits Hoping to be Seated Next to a Cute Girl

Cute Girls Hoping They’re Seated Next to Anyone But a Cocky Guy in a Suit

Slow Moving People In Jogging Suits and Dress Shoes

Business Travelers in Jeans Trying to Forget That Their Soul Crushing Job Is Taking Them to Houston, Again

Zone C

You

Comments

Christopher said…
On the bright side Manspreaders are effectively held in check by the design of both airport and airline seats. Who would have thought they're really good for something?