Shooting the Points

A little something .you should know...I'm updating my resume.

I don't have any plans, yet.  But...

It never hurts to have it ready.

Here are some skills I wish I could highlight:

- Consummate BS Artist

- Ready to Karaoke, No Alcohol Required

- Know the layout of the Southwest Terminal at Houston Hobby by heart

- Hilarious, only occasionally inappropriate

- Know a John Hancock from a John Thomas, will work with either

- Have all the right junk in all the right places (thanks Megan Trainor)

- Extremely competitive in costume contests

- Can eat more than you would think

- Can pronounce anything on a foreign language menu with confidence

- Never been arrested

- Have Alice's Restaurant memorized

- Excellent crisis management skills unless bodily fluids are involved

- Can follow hockey and speak intelligently about it

- Look amazing in bright colors, will not wear polo shirts with company logo

- Cool under pressure - once drove in Times Square, NYC

- Able to accept whatever rental car Hertz offers with humor and good grace

- Vaccines for Hep A and B recently completed, Tetanus good through 2016.

- Not afraid to express unpopular opinions

- Sexy and I Know It (Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah!)

- Make excellent jelly, which you may or may not be ready for

- Will probably lowball self in salary negotiations

- Fresh citrusy scent

- Kept same philodendron alive for nearly 2 decades (and counting)

- Once met Lily Tomlin - she said I looked like I had promise.  I was eleven.  I think she was correct.

- I make killer meatloaf

- If I don't get the job, I can find out where you live

- I never burn microwave popcorn

- I will not heat up smelly food in the break room, nor will I eat it at my desk

- Known to bring Krispy Kreme sporadically

- Survivor of Pilomatrical Carcinoma, hardly ever mention it but will show you my bald spot upon request

- Nearly complete with the grieving process of my dog and father

- Never cry at my desk - bathroom stall or car at lunch break only

- Am not now, nor have ever been member of communist party

- Won't complain about office temperature, will keep a fan at my desk

Who wants me?

Come on!!



Damn, that's an impressive resume! Especially the not crying at your desk part. I've never mastered that, myself. Warning: I may steal this post idea. That's one of MY skills.