A little something .you should know...I'm updating my resume.
I don't have any plans, yet. But...
It never hurts to have it ready.
Here are some skills I wish I could highlight:
- Consummate BS Artist
- Ready to Karaoke, No Alcohol Required
- Know the layout of the Southwest Terminal at Houston Hobby by heart
- Hilarious, only occasionally inappropriate
- Know a John Hancock from a John Thomas, will work with either
- Have all the right junk in all the right places (thanks Megan Trainor)
- Extremely competitive in costume contests
- Can eat more than you would think
- Can pronounce anything on a foreign language menu with confidence
- Never been arrested
- Have Alice's Restaurant memorized
- Excellent crisis management skills unless bodily fluids are involved
- Can follow hockey and speak intelligently about it
- Look amazing in bright colors, will not wear polo shirts with company logo
- Cool under pressure - once drove in Times Square, NYC
- Able to accept whatever rental car Hertz offers with humor and good grace
- Vaccines for Hep A and B recently completed, Tetanus good through 2016.
- Not afraid to express unpopular opinions
- Sexy and I Know It (Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah!)
- Make excellent jelly, which you may or may not be ready for
- Will probably lowball self in salary negotiations
- Fresh citrusy scent
- Kept same philodendron alive for nearly 2 decades (and counting)
- Once met Lily Tomlin - she said I looked like I had promise. I was eleven. I think she was correct.
- I make killer meatloaf
- If I don't get the job, I can find out where you live
- I never burn microwave popcorn
- I will not heat up smelly food in the break room, nor will I eat it at my desk
- Known to bring Krispy Kreme sporadically
- Survivor of Pilomatrical Carcinoma, hardly ever mention it but will show you my bald spot upon request
- Nearly complete with the grieving process of my dog and father
- Never cry at my desk - bathroom stall or car at lunch break only
- Am not now, nor have ever been member of communist party
- Won't complain about office temperature, will keep a fan at my desk
Who wants me?
Come on!!
ae
I don't have any plans, yet. But...
It never hurts to have it ready.
Here are some skills I wish I could highlight:
- Consummate BS Artist
- Ready to Karaoke, No Alcohol Required
- Know the layout of the Southwest Terminal at Houston Hobby by heart
- Hilarious, only occasionally inappropriate
- Know a John Hancock from a John Thomas, will work with either
- Have all the right junk in all the right places (thanks Megan Trainor)
- Extremely competitive in costume contests
- Can eat more than you would think
- Can pronounce anything on a foreign language menu with confidence
- Never been arrested
- Have Alice's Restaurant memorized
- Excellent crisis management skills unless bodily fluids are involved
- Can follow hockey and speak intelligently about it
- Look amazing in bright colors, will not wear polo shirts with company logo
- Cool under pressure - once drove in Times Square, NYC
- Able to accept whatever rental car Hertz offers with humor and good grace
- Vaccines for Hep A and B recently completed, Tetanus good through 2016.
- Not afraid to express unpopular opinions
- Sexy and I Know It (Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah!)
- Make excellent jelly, which you may or may not be ready for
- Will probably lowball self in salary negotiations
- Fresh citrusy scent
- Kept same philodendron alive for nearly 2 decades (and counting)
- Once met Lily Tomlin - she said I looked like I had promise. I was eleven. I think she was correct.
- I make killer meatloaf
- If I don't get the job, I can find out where you live
- I never burn microwave popcorn
- I will not heat up smelly food in the break room, nor will I eat it at my desk
- Known to bring Krispy Kreme sporadically
- Survivor of Pilomatrical Carcinoma, hardly ever mention it but will show you my bald spot upon request
- Nearly complete with the grieving process of my dog and father
- Never cry at my desk - bathroom stall or car at lunch break only
- Am not now, nor have ever been member of communist party
- Won't complain about office temperature, will keep a fan at my desk
Who wants me?
Come on!!
ae
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