I know from both the book and movie “To Kill a Mockingbird” that it is, in fact sin to kill one. My question though is…why? Have you ever encountered a mockingbird? Aside from their uncanny ability to mimic cell phones, crying babies, etc. – these are the meanest birds I’ve met since I got mauled by a swan at age 10. Long story, but let’s just say, watch your back in cemeteries. Lola and I used to walk on a trail where we were relentlessly dive-bombed by a mockingbird whose nest was nearby. I get that whole protective maternal instinct, but that bird was needlessly vicious. Also, did you know that you can make a tequila mockingbird by mixing tequila, crème de menthe and lime juice? Gross but true.
So, we were out the other night at a burger joint (ok Five Guys if you must know – and yeah the burgers and fries were pretty damn good), and there are all these young girls with their parents, post softball game. The name of their team – the Diamond Divas. Eight year old divas? Great. That’s exactly what we have been needing in this world. More young girls with that me-me-me mentality. If you look up diva, it comes as a synonym of Prima Donna – both Italian in origin – but here’s the definition of the latter: a vain or undisciplined person who finds it difficult to work under direction or as part of a team. So here we have a *team* of divas. Something is rotten in Denmark. They didn’t seem to be bad kids – maybe a little too rambunctious for me, but then again – it’s not like we were at The Palm, so it was what it was.
If you’re ever in Germany and find yourself with Scheidenpilz - which literally translates into Vagina Mushrooms but we here in the states call a Yeast Infection, go to the nearest Apotheke and ask for Kadefungin. Here’s the deal – pharmacies in Europe don’t have things just sitting out – even innocuous things like aspirin. So you actually have to go to the counter and request what you need. And if you are like me, you don’t speak German – so you have to borrow your husband’s German dictionary and work out a sentence or six explaining in no uncertain terms that the homeopathic crap you bought a few days ago because you were too chickenshit to go up to the counter and demand an anti-fungal … isn’t working – except to say that instead of merely itching, you are now itching and burning. Now while it’s true that most pharmacies in Munich have English speaking pharmacists, I find that talking about my mushroom problem is far less embarrassing when I sound like Liesl Karstadt from Baden-Baden and not Itchy American Tourist #12. Another one for your "gross-but-true" files. Assuming you're keeping files.
Kadefungin - Ask For It By Name!
The makeover yesterday was a success – I ended up getting eyeshadow and lipstick. I kept trying to get the nice lady to let me try the red lipstick, and when she gave in, she admitted that it looked good on me. I didn’t get any foundation because, let’s be honest, it would sit in my bathroom cabinet from now til I decided to toss it three years from now. If I had money to blow, I’d feed it to Lola – or at LEAST get a pedicure. I really need a pedicure. I wish I had decided to give up some other luxury, like one of my prescriptions or maybe my daily Coke Zero. No, I couldn’t do that - I really believe that it has crack in it. That’s the only explanation.
So, we were out the other night at a burger joint (ok Five Guys if you must know – and yeah the burgers and fries were pretty damn good), and there are all these young girls with their parents, post softball game. The name of their team – the Diamond Divas. Eight year old divas? Great. That’s exactly what we have been needing in this world. More young girls with that me-me-me mentality. If you look up diva, it comes as a synonym of Prima Donna – both Italian in origin – but here’s the definition of the latter: a vain or undisciplined person who finds it difficult to work under direction or as part of a team. So here we have a *team* of divas. Something is rotten in Denmark. They didn’t seem to be bad kids – maybe a little too rambunctious for me, but then again – it’s not like we were at The Palm, so it was what it was.
If you’re ever in Germany and find yourself with Scheidenpilz - which literally translates into Vagina Mushrooms but we here in the states call a Yeast Infection, go to the nearest Apotheke and ask for Kadefungin. Here’s the deal – pharmacies in Europe don’t have things just sitting out – even innocuous things like aspirin. So you actually have to go to the counter and request what you need. And if you are like me, you don’t speak German – so you have to borrow your husband’s German dictionary and work out a sentence or six explaining in no uncertain terms that the homeopathic crap you bought a few days ago because you were too chickenshit to go up to the counter and demand an anti-fungal … isn’t working – except to say that instead of merely itching, you are now itching and burning. Now while it’s true that most pharmacies in Munich have English speaking pharmacists, I find that talking about my mushroom problem is far less embarrassing when I sound like Liesl Karstadt from Baden-Baden and not Itchy American Tourist #12. Another one for your "gross-but-true" files. Assuming you're keeping files.
Kadefungin - Ask For It By Name!
The makeover yesterday was a success – I ended up getting eyeshadow and lipstick. I kept trying to get the nice lady to let me try the red lipstick, and when she gave in, she admitted that it looked good on me. I didn’t get any foundation because, let’s be honest, it would sit in my bathroom cabinet from now til I decided to toss it three years from now. If I had money to blow, I’d feed it to Lola – or at LEAST get a pedicure. I really need a pedicure. I wish I had decided to give up some other luxury, like one of my prescriptions or maybe my daily Coke Zero. No, I couldn’t do that - I really believe that it has crack in it. That’s the only explanation.
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