It's called misosmia - condition where certain smells are irrationally irritating to the person smelling them. Like Misophonia of the Sniffer.
I have it. For sure. The first real instance I can remember of what I'm about to explain is college.
I lived in a sorority house in the early 1990s. And if you were to ask me what the hardest part of that was - well, a lot of it was hard. Taking on the energy of 55 other people, the noise, the germs...
But honestly, the worst parts were hairspray and Sun Ripened Raspberry.
I had a germaphobic roommate who would hose the place down in Lysol on the regular. She had a lot going on with her health, so I kind of bit my tongue, but the smells of SRR and Lysol made me irrationally angry. And you know, I'd love to tell you my poker face was better then. It probably wasn't.
My two perfumes of choice back then were Joy (Jean Patou) and Caleche (Hermes). Because even at the tender age of 19, I had bougie, expensive, older-leaning tastes.
Here's the fragrance profile of Caleche:
Fancy stuff.
Here's Joy:
I smelled fancy, when I used perfume. Which was infrequent because as much as I like the way these two both smelled, I often found that it was too much.
Anyway - it was in college that I first dealt with the scent bombs.
Bath and Body Works kind of left the scene once I hit my 20s. And it was then that I fell in love with Crabtree and Evelyn. Specifically Lavender Water. I wore that as my occasional fragrance in a lot of my 20s. So I smelled grandmotherly, but at least old money grandmotherly.
In my late 20s, my parents brought me a gift from a trip to Europe. A set of the Acqua Allegoria fragrances by Guerlain. I favored (and still favor) Pampelune - a grapefruit scented perfume.
In my 30s, I fell in love with Pure Grace by Philosophy - it smells like soap and water.
I also started getting into the various scented bath items at Lush. But those quickly got to be too much.
Ultimately, I stopped wearing personal fragrances because they all felt too strong for me - except for Pure Grace, which my husband didn't care for. I still have some Joy, Caleche, and Pampelune - but I rarely wear them, and almost instantly regret it when I do.
As far as soaps go, I like anything citrus, peppermint or lavender. I also really love the smell of Ivory bar soap. Their liquid soap is terrible. I like Coast and Irish Spring. I love Lifeguard and Dial (white, not gold). I hate Lever 2000. I hate anything that is cucumber or melon scented. I think Mr. Bubble smells heavenly.
I use Aveda hair products, or Suave - either the generic hot pink for mousse, hairspray or rosemary mint for the shampoo/conditioner. I tried Tresseme because they had travel sizes. Their mousse smells like they are trying to cover up smelly dog feet with cheap bodywash. I can use Fructis - but Aveda is really the gold standard. I cannot use scented lotion, with the exception of a peppermint foot creme I will occasionally use overnight with socks on.
I use unscented laundry soap at the behest of my husband. I use OxyClean from time to time - and it can be pretty strong. I prefer it to the smell of chlorine bleach, but in small doses.
We used to use Dawn dish soap until they changed the formula and scent about three years ago. Now we use Palmolive - just the regular. However - I bought some Mrs. Meyers - I think Lemon Verbena, Cut Grass and Tomato Vine are all heavenly. It's just pricy. And the tomato vine is a little strong for dishes. It's good to use to clean my sleep apnea gear. It doesn't linger.
For cleaning products, the WORST smell is Fabuloso. It just makes me want to claw my face off. There was a little left in a bottle of it at Mom's house, and my husband and sister were using it. I arrived back from an errand, and it's like a big smelly hand grabbed me by the throat. I was not happy.
It's one of those that I don't just smell it, I taste it. And it stays there.
You may wonder where I'm going with this.
Well, it's a long, winding rant about smells in the workplace.
Some of the young people here are lathering on some personal fragrance, and sadly, it's not that personal. They're doing it as a cover-up to, if my nose knows, smoking things. What they're smoking is their own business. But it becomes my business when they hose themselves down, in the office, across an aisle from me, in Coconut Bomblastic. Or what I also refer to as Tropical Throatpunch.
The reason for the coverup? Well, management had to come out and say, "Don't come into the office smelling like whatever it is that you're smoking."
Rather than interpret that as "Oh, I shouldn't be smoking weed in my car before work", the message was received as, "Spray you some smell-good and we'll turn a blind eye."
Here's the good news. We're almost done with our renovations at work. And I found myself a corner cube that looks perfect for me. I've manifested my destiny, and I will be far from the smells of Peachy Ass.
Have I ever told you about Peachy Ass? No? Imagine that - I have stories left in me.
Senior year of college, I went on a trip with the Journalism Society to Disneyworld. We took down two large UGA Student Activities Vans. I got to/had to drive one of them. It smelled like mold and feet. So on our first gas-up, I bought an air-freshener for the rearview mirror. It was an astrology themed one for the sign Virgo. It smelled, not terrible. I called it "Virgolicious". One of the other people on the trip dubbed the new smell of the van "Peachy Ass". I think of that any time I smell something fragrant used to cover up something unpleasant.
That was a good time in my life, and it was also terrible. Lots of fun covering up fear and anxiety.
Peachy Ass.
Keep on keeping on, y'all.
ae
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