Stuck

In spite of everything going on in the world. I'm going to spend much of this post talking about my feelings.  Sorry in advance.

We had a major winter storm over the weekend that shat snow and ice and fallen trees all over the city - there are still people who are without electricity.  We managed to never lose power, we had plenty of food, my husband has taken my truck to his job three days.  All in all, we win.

I will take my truck to the body shop tomorrow for repair, and pick up my rental car, then head into the office for the first time in a week.  I'll be glad to be there.  I am learning I need the external stimuli.

One of the bummer things that happened during the Snowcase Snowdown of 2026 is that I cracked my phone.  This is not altogether a bad thing.  For one, I've had the phone since 2021 - it was a refurb given to me by ATT free of charge because I needed a 5G phone.  So, free phone, lasted 5 years, in my possession?  Well done, me.  

So, I ordered a newer generation phone - it's not the NEWEST, because I'm not spending $1000 on a phone.  Come the hell on.  It should arrive tomorrow, USPS willing.  And there's a case on order as well.  I don't even know when it will get here.  The upside of this is that my current phone, given its age, would not allow me to load my work email on it.  And that's major.  It also wouldn't let me load my health insurance app - which, given that I work for the same parent company, was annoying.  Hopefully, this will fix everything for me.   Well, everything cellphone related.

I am anxious to get the car in and out of the body shop as painlessly as possible.  It's already painful to be honest - the whole thing.  I just feel tainted and weird and out of sorts.  I'll never know how it happened, who did it, and why they didn't feel compelled to leave a note.  It shakes my faith in people in a micro kind of way.

Which is ridiculous given that decent citizens trying to help other people are getting mown down by glorified mall cops who like to dress up and pretend they're in a live game of HALO.   If you didn't know that would be my take on ICE, sorry - not sorry.

I am feeling, as the title of this post may imply, stuck.  There's the screamingly literal sense, where I am basically housebound.  And I can't even let the dog out to just run around the backyard because the fence has been compromised.  

I am also responsible for running a load of laundry periodically to keep the pipes flowing efficiently.  May the powers that be have mercy on our water bill.

I feel mentally stuck.  I have a few little projects going at work, but nothing that has a concrete, set schedule - and of course, I haven't been around colleagues in a week.  

I also feel a little in limbo about planning my trip to California for my nephew's graduation.  I mean, I can't wait - but it's also just hard to decide how long we're going for, what we're going to do, and where we'll stay.  In one sense, some of that has been decided for us since they're leaving for Costa Rica two days after his graduation.  So, what I think we'll do is go there first, then head out after his graduation for the rest of our trip.  The problem is, California is huge, and many of the things we want to see are not near where we will land.  Do I want to spend a vacation driving in California traffic?  No, but flights are expensive and impractical, so...

Stuck.

We had talked about finding a house with more land at some point in the near future, but we both have commutes that make our current location perfect, at least in that respect.

Stuck.

I am waiting on my Health Insurance and PCP to figure out what meds they will cover, and what makes sense.

Stuck.

I don't know how long they're going to take on my truck, which we really need to get rid of all the downed limbs and crap in our back yard.

Stuck.

I have a birthday party and tickets to a comedy show back-to-back on Saturday, and I am not sure how that is going to play out.

Stuck.

I need to go and do a few errands this weekend, but I'm also aware that my husband probably has a different set of errands he wants to do this weekend, so we'll have to compromise.

Stuck.

All I want to do with my spare time is finish up The Pitt, which I started two days ago.  The only way for this to happen is if my husband goes to bed early, because he isn't interested in it.

Stuck.

My dreams are all about my house and cabin falling apart, and misunderstandings with people who have not been part of my life in decades, and my parents being alive and I cannot help them.

Stuck.

And I really need some good, quality sleep, but I'm getting pushback for being sluggish.

Stuck.

So, the good news is that I have therapy tomorrow, and maybe we'll start to unstick some of it.  Maybe.

ae