Bellyachin'

Pick your poison, they say, when choosing between two toxic situations.

What's your poison?  That's asking for your drink order.

Poisson sans boisson, c'est poison.  That French.  It means Fish without drink (wine) is poison.

I have been thinking a lot about the idea of self-poisoning.  No, no - not like I'm about to drink a bottle of Drano and make a hasty exit.

I have been thinking more along the lines of legal stuff.  We all have our poisons.  The things we do enough of to get that brain hit, but hopefully not so much as to get sick.

Alcohol, obviously.  Weed, powder, pills - sure.

But also coffee, salt, social media, sugar, binge-watching, trauma bonding, selfies, artificial sweeteners, Wordle, gossip, anger, carbs, workouts, sex, Amazon, work, rage, groupthink, news, sports (viewing), sports (playing), sports (betting), escapism, sympathy, self-pity, self-doubt, narcissism, crafting, thrifting, purging, travel, "extreme" activities, "extreme" junk foods, sleep, opinions, self-care, electronics, plants, pets, people, jobs, expectations, cosmetics, YouTube, do-goodery, righteous indignation, wrongteous indignation, clapping back, reaction videos, unboxing videos, gender reveals, virtue signaling, blowing smoke, smoking, vaping, push presents, Goldendoodles, parasocial relationships, birding, video games, board games, boredom, wild boar, lunch meat, meatloaf, Meatloaf, jazz, jams, jellies, hair gel, hair dye, Keto, Crossfit, marathons, triathlons, yarn bombing, love bombing, bath bombs, nostalgia, snark, tattoos, piercings, trivia, dad jokes, dad bods, Dubai chocolate, Labubus, labia, labyrinths, Disney,  fandom, fan-fiction, Pulp Fiction, extra-pulpy orange juice, the OJ Trial, elaborate manicures, The Cure, Cake, cake, thrill rides, fun houses, open houses, open relationships, ships, kayaks, canoes, Bigfoot, foot fetishes, Golden Grahams, Hungry Hungry Hippos, impostor syndrome, grief, doubt, fear, shame, and guilt.

That's an abbreviated list.  But it got me thinking about what the poisons in my life are.  And how to balance that "just enough to feel alive" with the "completely numb".

It's a balancing act, for sure.

I do know that I can eat fish without wine.  But you know what's good?  There's this place in Seattle called Ivar's.  They do a fish and chips that are phenomenal.  Pairs well with any local brew.  That's my kind of poison.

I don't dig clams, but this is my go-to when I'm in that town.

ae