Too much, too little, too late...

I have what you might call a big personality.  I come by it naturally.  One of my father's many nicknames was "The Main Event".  I had some former co-workers who used to call me "The Great Big Book of Everything".  It was not, to my knowledge, a compliment.

I get called "witty" a lot.  And I guess that I am, but I think I'd rather be just plain funny.  Because "witty" has a little bit of bitterness to it, or at least, that's my interpretation.  When you say witty, it sounds like you just sucked on a lemon.  I was first called witty in 5th Grade.  Everyone got superlatives - mine was Wittiest.  Which, you know, is code for smart ass.  Which, to be fair... accurate. Although, between us - the woman who handed me that superlative was kind of a bitch.  Sorry, not sorry - you know who you are, Debbie.

So, you can see, I have some baggage.

I'm also occasionally "a bit much".  Also not a compliment, but also true.  None of these things define me, but they are part of me.

Not to be too vague, but I recently got some feedback that made me feel that same feeling again - the feeling of being too much, too witty, too big.   It's a shame because the way I was feeling was joyful and authentic.  I think maybe, people felt like I was having too much fun.

So, I'm taking my sprinkles and going home.  You want vanilla?  You got it.  Bring your own damn sprinkles, you joyless buzzkills.

Truthfully, right now my life is so full of dumpster fires, I look for any chance to use sprinkles, and I probably went overboard.

But lessons are learned and relearned every day, aren't they?

Now, let's actually talk about sprinkles.

So, first of all, I want to talk about sanding sugar - which is used in a similar fashion, but is very different in texture, use, etc.

Sanding sugar is just colored sugar that can be used on things like cookies, cupcakes, etc.

It comes in a lot of different colors, and we use them in red and green on our Christmas sugar cookies. Or in red and pink if we're making those same cookies in February, or... you get the idea.  In my youth, we referred to these as sugar sprinkles.

Then, there are the rod shaped sprinkles - those are officially sprinkles (or jimmies if you're from up north).

To me, they taste like little chalky, waxy bits of nothing. But I like them as décor, in moderation.

The chocolate version of these sprinkles have different names elsewhere in the world.  Hagelslag, they're called in Holland.  In Belgium, they're muizenstrontjes - mouse droppings.  They are often used as a bread and butter topping.  Yum?

There are nonpareils - they're the small, round, opaque cousins of the rod sprinkle.  These are my favorite of the rainbow variety.  They have a nice crunch, and may get lodged in your teeth, but what a way to go!  You can find them in all white on Sno-Caps:

If, in fact, you can find Sno-Caps.  Check next to the Raisinettes at the movies.

In rainbow color, these little guys are the key ingredient to Fairy Bread:

Bread, butter, nonpareils.

Nonpareil means, in both French and English, having no equal, or peerless.  It's outdated in French - now that would say sans pareil.  And honestly, we'd more likely say unparalleled.

Moving on.

Confetti are flat sprinkles, typically round, though other shapes exist (leaves, stars, hearts, et al.):

They are dry, chalky, with a vaguely unpleasant mouthfeel.  However - they are the key ingredient in the delightful Funfetti cake.  Or, confetti sprinkle cake, generically.  There, they disintegrate and fuse with the batter to give you a multicolored freckled cake, and I'm here for it.

There are dragées, which are a confection with a hard outer shell.  We typically think of the little silver balls, or pearls or whatever - but technically, Skittles, M&Ms, Mentos and Reeses Pieces are all dragées.

Fun fact: the silver ones are illegal in California because blah, blah, blah... toxic.

I personally avoid them because I have a number of old fillings I want to keep for as long as humanly possible.  And they don't really taste like anything.  They are, however, shiny, and I like the look.

My point is - it's rarely about the sprinkles.  They're there for fun.  Nobody wants to ingest a bowl of sprinkles.  You have to have the cake, or buttered bread, or cookie, or chocolate drop underneath to provide substance and context.  So if the sprinkles are bothering you, scrape them off and focus on the substance.  But I assure you - the sprinkles aren't hurting anyone.

Except the dragées, which may be slowly killing you.

Too much?

ae