Juggling Things

I have been putting off an unpleasant task since April, and I finally completed it. 

As part of the kidney stone protocol, the urologist wanted me to do a 24 Hour Collection.  Basically, pee in a jug for a day, pop in some preservative solution, mix, fill a tube, close the tube, put it in a box and take it to FedEx. You are then left with a jug of stale piss to do with as you choose. I flushed mine.

It's a pain for several reasons. Mainly because you're committed to being near your jug for 24 hours. And that requires planning. Also, you need to be where you can get the sample to a FedEx. But not just any FedEx, one that accepts boxes of biologically dangerous materials. No joke.

Now, you can call for FedEx to come and
get it, but it's not like I am going to leave my box of urine at the front desk and ask Jerry or Jay (our security guard) to hand it off to the courier.

No. In my case, I will be taking it this morning myself.

The other pain is that as a lady person, it becomes a two step process. Sure, you could try to aim for the jug, but they send you a basin that fits under the toilet seat so that you can transfer easily. Which could lead to spilling it, but whatever.

I'm telling you,  it's FRAUGHT.

Finally, and, from my point of view, the biggest reason I have been avoiding it is genetic. Dad did a number of these over the years due to his kidney issues. End Stage Renal Disease was the stated cause of death - though it was a total combo platter of things, really.

So, what if they find something really bad?  My gut feeling is that they won't, but that is the same gut that loves salt, sugar, caffeine, and all the foods a "stoner" should avoid.

"If it tastes good", the surgeon said, "Don't eat or drink it."

With that said, I just walked the dog. I am going to take my box to Metrocenter and let the lab do their job.  Wish them, and me, luck.

Urine luck.

Hahahah. At least my funny bone is still healthy!!


Christopher said…
Yes, thank goodness for the funny bone, and I mean that seriously--a sense of humor really helps. Also the surgeon's advice of "If it tastes good don't eat or drink it" seems way too general. Sometimes we crave certain foods because there's something in them out body needs. Supposedly. A craving for Mountain Dew may not be something you should give into but at the same time why don't we ever crave kale if it's so good for us?