Putting the Blah in Blog

Well, we got through the big 4th of July mountainspalooza no worse for the wear.  In fact, somewhat better for the wear because I purchase and used some anti-motion sickness glasses. 

They are not pretty, at all - but they work, and I can look like a doofus for a few hours if it keeps me from feeling queasy, or worse, then I'm all for it.

Anyway, we got an abbreviated picnic and fireworks in between rain storms.  I have to stop investing so much of my sense of value into throwing that picnic, given that we are at the mercy of the weather, and Mother Nature is a capricious bitch.

All of that to say, I'm in a period of let-down.  It happens to me when I've been looking forward to something for so long, and that thing, whatever it is, doesn't magically change the fact that at time, my life is a mess.

For example:  Mom was supposed to come up to the mountains, but the day of, she and her boyfriend agreed to not come, due to weather.  Smart move, really.  But a few hours later, she forgot that she had agreed to skip the trip and was very upset.  Messy.  Very messy.

If I haven't gone into this before, my mother has signs of dementia/Alzheimers.  We don't know which, and honestly, it doesn't really matter.  Currently, they're calling it moderate cognitive impairment.  What does matter is that her short term memory is poor, and once she grasps a piece of info, she fixates on it.  And she was fixated on going to the cabin for weeks.  So,  the change was disruptive.   We talked her down, and all was well, but it left a bad taste in my mouth.

I don't talk much about my mother and her health - it's really her story.  My story is linked to it, of course, in that I handle a lot of her day-to-day medical needs, and I call her to check in, if not every day, then pretty close to it.  There are days where she doesn't hear her cell phone.  I can't manage that, necessarily.

But the outlook is, as you would expect.  She's 79 years old, and that's creeping up on the what the average life expectancy is for a woman in the US (81.1, if you're playing along at home). But we know what we know - that averages are just that - an average way of estimation... she could get hit by a bus tomorrow or live to see 105.  We don't know.  That's true for any of us, though, isn't it?

Clearly, I'm a little blue.  It happens to even cheerful optimists like me.

I'll get it together, and it'll be swell!

Trust me.



Christopher said…
I'm so sorry about what your mother is going through. It could be worse, sure, and it sounds like she's mostly fine, but it also sounds difficult.
On the bright side I think the glasses went with the festivities. The important thing is they were practical but they also seemed celebratory--kind of like the glasses people wear for New Year's where the frames spell out the year.