Crack

So, no sooner did I joke about my mother getting hit by a bus, then she got hit with bus.

Not literally.  She's fine.  Spoiler alert - she's fine.

I was sitting down to a dinner with friends at a fancy little spot on West End called Shabu Shabu.  They do hot pots and a grill.  You cook your own meal right there at the table.  I happened to check my phone and realized that I had a message from Mom's boyfriend that she had fallen and hit her head, but was feeling fine.  They were going to go to the ER just to be safe.  As I was at a social event, and he had it under control, I put my phone away and didn't check it again til I got home.  

Whereupon I learned that Mom had a skull fracture and they were going to admit her.  Her boyfriend called and suggested that I should come down.  Uh, yeah.  I packed a bag, got a few hours of sleep and drove down.

I don't know if you've ever been hospitalized over a weekend or holiday - I've had family members where it has happened.  What you should know is that nothing happens in hospitals over a weekend.  Ok, sure, it you're in the Cardiac ICU or something, yes - they are all over it.  But if you're Sally Q. Patient, you are going to have to be patient, because your doctor is going to take his or her sweet time getting things sorted. Sweet time being code for the next business day.

And that's almost exactly how it played out.  With one exception.

Sunday morning, just before I arrived, Mom mentioned to someone that she was having trouble breathing.  The Critical Response Team all arrived and put her on oxygen, started an EKG, the chaplain was there... I arrive to find a half dozen people standing outside the room, nobody will tell me what's happening and say that the doctor will explain it.  Well he's in there trying to get my mother to answer rapid-fire questions, and that's not going well.  The chaplain introduces herself to me and I basically bite her head off.  It was awesome. 

Turns out, Mom was feeling anxious - she also has lung disease, so, you know - there's that She was having trouble breathing.  But to their credit, they pulled out all the stops, did labs, x-rays, twenty-seven 8"x10" glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one... well, you know.

The labs came out fine, she was just anxious.  Monday 8:30 AM, physical therapy came by and checked her ability to move - she was good to go.  And by 2PM, they were rushing us out the door.  The usual, you know.

My feeling is, had it happened on a Tuesday night, they would have had the staff there to get her discharged the next day.  But that's just my opinion (based on experiences).

Since I sprung her on Monday, I've spent two days at Mom's working from home and keeping an eye on her.  We went to the store, we got her pug's nails trimmed.  I bathed the same pug, sprayed her for fleas and combed her as she slept.  We also went to Trader Joe's and got her some things to nosh on.  Her being Mom.  We bought the pug kibble at the vet while we got her nails done.

Tonight, after dinner, I'll drive back to Nashville to my husband and dog, and eventually, to my office.

I'm tired.  As one is when one has an unexpected weekend of upheaval, waiting, chaplains (I found her and apologized later), and pug maintenance.

All of this to say, don't joke about your Mom getting hit by a bus.

Like I said - she's fine.  Totally fine.  We have everything set up for her to move on like it never happened.

No joke.

ae