FAQ for Yule Luvv'em - The Matching Family Sleepwear Supersite

Trust us! Yule Luvv'em!!

 What is your company’s history?

We’re glad you asked!  Christmas pajamas are nothing new, but until the early 2000s, they were mainly for kids.  Then came social media, and now, everyone wants in!  A matching pajama photo on Christmas morning is at the top of every momfluencer’s list, and that’s why in 2013, we founded Yule Luvv’em!  We’re located here in Las Vegas, Nevada – where we know a thing or two about warm, cozy sleepwear.

What sizes do you offer?

We offer an entire range so that the whole family can join in.  Most of our styles are available in everything from Newborn to XL!  Even your pets can get in on the fun, provided your pet is a cat or dog.  We don’t do guinea pig pajamas, so stop asking.

Do you have any offerings in an extended size range?

We offer select styles in our Fat and Festive collection – 2XL to 6XL.  However, these are our least attractive prints and quite poorly made, so let’s hope your family isn’t a bunch of lardos.

Do your pajamas run true to size?

Our sizing varies wildly.  Take for example, our popular “Crazy Trees” print.  If you would normally wear a medium, you’ll want to size down to a small.  If you’re a large, order a large.  Either the top or the bottom will be laughably ill fitting, but if you order an extra-large, you’ll be swimming in it. And every design is completely and inexplicably different! Our passive-aggressive manufacturing guarantees that at least one person in your family is going to get his or her (but let’s face it, her) feelings hurt.  We have a sizing grid, but it’s just going to muddy the waters.

Is your sleepwear good for kids?

Absolutely!  Kids love our flame retardant pjs, because there are just so many darn candles and lit cigarettes during the holidays!  We believe every child deserves to come out of the holidays uncharred!   In addition, we use the stiffest, most durable clothing tags we can find so that you’ll remember they’re from Yule Luvv’em year after year.  And don’t even think about trying to remove those tags – we’ve made that impossible without cutting holes in your new jammies.  And to make sure the kiddos don’t wriggle out of their fashionable sleepwear, the necks, waistband and cuffs are all extra tight!  Not so tight as to be unsafe, just unpleasant!

We live in a warmer climate – are any of your pajamas lightweight?

Yule Luvv’em offers a variety of fabrics! There’s our patented Flanno™ - a synthetic flannel made almost partially from recycled grocery bags.  We have a heavyweight fleece guaranteed to absorb your copious perspiration and trap it in the fibers so the pajamas will stink forever.  And for those of you in warmer parts of the world, we do offer a lightweight pajama in a semi-breathable 10% Cotton, 90% dacron/rayon blend.  It features our unique N’EvvrCool technology that will keep you toasty for the entirety of your “long winter’s nap”.

Do you have anything a little more playful for those of us on the Naughty List?

Ho, ho, ho yeah! We’ve got you covered.  Metaphorically, that is – our “Fill Your Stockings” line uses fishnet and acrylic faux fur to create a barely-there ensemble he won’t forget.  And gents – choose from our festive briefs:  “Sugarplums”, “Nutcracker”, or “Lumps of Coal” to jingle her bells!

My mother-in-law only wears nightgowns – do you have any in your matching sets?

­We hear this all the time!  We don’t really do anything about it, but we hear you!  There are several daring chemises in the Fill Your Stockings line, or if your mother-in-law is petite, consider ordering a sleep shirt from our Pets section.  The XXXL fits a Great Dane or small elderly woman.

Got any styles for Hanukkah?

You bet your yarmulke, we do!  This year, we’re proud to announce “Gelty Pleasures” – these pajamas feature spinning tops with squiggles on them and some gold coins called “gelt”.  See what we did there?  We also have some festive secular pajamas featuring gingerbread men and hot chocolate. Don’t let the red and green pattern throw you off – the “Sweet Dreams” collection is for anyone who likes quality sleepwear for (probably) the whole family.

Do you offer monogramming?

Due to our proprietary fabric blends, monogramming is not possible.  We have learned that iron-on patches are your best alternative, provided you do not put the iron on High.

Can we ship items from a single order to multiple locations?

I mean, I guess you could do that. You’d have to pay additional shipping costs.  It’s kind of a hassle on our end, though.  And honestly, we’re probably going to mess it up – then your Aunt Teri ends up getting her sister Renee’s pajamas, and then there’s resentment, finger pointing, and tears  (see above, re: hurt feelings).  We recommend having them sent to one location and splitting out the order there.

What if I’m not completely satisfied?

Join the club.  Just put on the pajamas, get in front of the damn tree, everyone smile, and for the love of God, Kaitlyn, try and keep your eyes open for one picture, just one.  Logan, stop scratching!  Come on.  I ask for one thing every Christmas and it has to be like this.  Sorry, sorry – I was just… never mind.  If you are not satisfied with your order return the unworn pajamas back for a refund, minus shipping and a 60% restocking fee.

What is my deadline for ordering if I want them in time for Christmas?

We will open our online ordering for Christmas 2023 in April.  Unfortunately, all of our 2022 items are currently on back order, with an expected ship date of three days after you needed them.    Let this serve as a reminder that you have also missed the deadline on: getting holiday stamps, finding a dress for the one party you have this year, making cookies to send to the kids’ teachers,  booking a hair appointment before the end of the year, and sourcing a reliable timer for your outdoor lights – which you also haven’t put up yet.


(As you may have guessed, McSweeney's passed on this)

Comments

Christopher said…
I was afraid this was a McSweeney's pass. Well, there's always next year. I was laughing right along but completely lost it at "Gelty Pleasures".