Here's a little potpourri of what's going on in my mind, in epistles.
Dear Tuxedo Cat,
You are really lovely, and I enjoy having you visit - but stick to the front porch, please. Piper and Zoomer (neighbor dog) both really want to eat you, and while you're and excellent climber, QED, it might not end well.
Sincerely,
A Catvocate
Dear Nice Lady at the Omohundro Dump,
I need to ask your name, because you are always so nice to me when I come there. You have taken what some people might find to be a joyless job, and infused it with your pleasant attitude. I hope that other people see that, too.
Sincerely,
Woman With a Pick Up Truck
Dear Delivery Drivers,
Thank you for honestly being the central nervous system of this new normal. Whether you come bearing food, mail or Amazon boxes, we couldn't do this without you.
Sincerely,
Sorry We Order So Damn Much
Dear People With Giant Strollers,
While I celebrate your desire to get out of the house with your kid, I silently judge the fact that your kids wheels are nicer than my second car and first apartment combined. Possibly more expensive, too.
Sincerely,
Stationary on Stationery
Dear Mask Wearers,
I appreciate you for your consideration of other people, and I know it's controversial. But if you're going to go that far, then take the extra step and wear it right. Over the nose, over the mouth, don't remove it to speak.
Capiche? Thanks!
Sincerely,
Who Is That Masked Woman?
Dear Old Navy,
While your face masks are delightful and inexpensive, I can't wait til July. Also, I found a woman-owned small business who can get them to me sooner. Worth the extra dough-re-mi, and so cute.
Thanks,
I Still Love Your Clothes, Occasionally
Dear David Allen Sibley,
You know how sometimes you have a thought about something you want, and then you see an ad for it - your book was that thing.
Dear Tuxedo Cat,
You are really lovely, and I enjoy having you visit - but stick to the front porch, please. Piper and Zoomer (neighbor dog) both really want to eat you, and while you're and excellent climber, QED, it might not end well.
Sincerely,
A Catvocate
Dear Nice Lady at the Omohundro Dump,
I need to ask your name, because you are always so nice to me when I come there. You have taken what some people might find to be a joyless job, and infused it with your pleasant attitude. I hope that other people see that, too.
Sincerely,
Woman With a Pick Up Truck
Dear Delivery Drivers,
Thank you for honestly being the central nervous system of this new normal. Whether you come bearing food, mail or Amazon boxes, we couldn't do this without you.
Sincerely,
Sorry We Order So Damn Much
Dear People With Giant Strollers,
While I celebrate your desire to get out of the house with your kid, I silently judge the fact that your kids wheels are nicer than my second car and first apartment combined. Possibly more expensive, too.
Sincerely,
Stationary on Stationery
Dear Mask Wearers,
I appreciate you for your consideration of other people, and I know it's controversial. But if you're going to go that far, then take the extra step and wear it right. Over the nose, over the mouth, don't remove it to speak.
I'm sorry you had to see that. |
Sincerely,
Who Is That Masked Woman?
Dear Old Navy,
While your face masks are delightful and inexpensive, I can't wait til July. Also, I found a woman-owned small business who can get them to me sooner. Worth the extra dough-re-mi, and so cute.
Thanks,
I Still Love Your Clothes, Occasionally
Dear David Allen Sibley,
You know how sometimes you have a thought about something you want, and then you see an ad for it - your book was that thing.
Buy it, for reals |
Your illustrations are gorgeous, and I haven't even gotten to read any of it yet, because it got here around 9PM last night. That's not a complaint on Amazon's delivery, btw, I am delighted to have this so quickly. It is going to be a fixture in our home.
Sincerely,
Bird Nerd
And now, one slightly longer note.
Dear Disenfranchised and Disheartened Friends/Acquaintances/Strangers,
I am a person of privilege. Granted, I'm amiddle-aged, overweight white woman, an atheist living in the south, and I only have a college education from a state school, so there are limits to my privilege, but let's not be foolish, it's there. It's real.
I can't apologize for anyone but myself. But I am sorry I haven't done more. I don't tend to speak out on social media, because what is that going to do? I am not going to change anyone's mind with a pithy tweet, or well-meaning post on Facebook or Instagram.
I can write to my legislators, my governor and the president (he's not *my* president). I can advocate for body cameras, and trauma informed training, and mandatory psychotherapy for all police officers. I can protest, and I can donate time and money and make phone calls.
I can't fix it. Not alone. And not quickly.
But I can admit that it's broken. It is very, very broken. I have friends who are every size, shape, age, color and orientation you can imagine. Ok, I don't know any American Samoans, but I think that's due to propinquity, not because of an inherent Samoan bias.
I have friends who are Republicans. I know, it is surprising. Some of them may even be Trump supporters. I base my friendship not on what box they check, but how they treat me, and other people. I know some liberals who are assholes, and some conservatives who are delightful, and vice versa.
I know what I believe, and I work toward a better future for all mankind in my way. I don't necessarily discuss it publicly, and maybe I should. But I'd rather show than tell.
Here's a little secret. I try to behave in ways that are typically considered "a good Christian", so that when/if someone learns I'm not, they're surprised that I'm not actually possessed by the Devil.
So I will continue to be your ally.
But as far as social media goes, I am a Jester, not a Knight. You need me to do that because people still need to laugh even in the worst of times. And y'all, if this isn't the modern day worst of times, I don't know what the hell is.
Take care of yourselves and each other*,
Allison
*Jerry Springer's only positive contribution to society was this, his show's daily sign-off.
Comments