Summer Sunscopes 2020 – Let the stars guide you to your best summer ever!
Aquarius - Make no mistake - your summer will sizzle like an egg on the sidewalk. Parties, cookouts and vacations! Those are what you'll be watching on Netflix. But make time to catch some gorgeous outdoor scenery and beautiful sunrises, too. Try NatGeo on Disney+ for that. But get outside occasionally, even if it's just to cool off in an inflatable kiddie pool (available at Amazon.com). #sponsoredcontent
Pisces - Amour is in the air, Pisces, and it's about to land on your front walkway. That's right, we're talking about love bugs. Sure, they're a typically found on the coast, but they're here to remind you of the trip you won't be taking to Florida. And more importantly, they’ll remind you to stay connected! Take time and spend it with a loved one, maybe somewhere other than the sidewalk. Or the grille of your car.
Aries - You already have everything you need to make this summer one to remember - except pickles - the store is out of those every time. Why?? It's a mystery. Forget about them. You have a sense of humor and paper towels. Don't take either for granted. And about the pickle sitch - consider growing and pickling your own cukes as a side hustle.
Taurus - Ah, Taurus! The sign of The Bull. Your strength is your resilience and stubborn refusal to quit. Which is amazing! But that strength also becomes your weakness, because there are 72 popsicles in the box you got on sale at Costco. Be strong! Even when it's only the cherry-pomegranate ones left. And be aware with food dye: what goes in, must come out.
Gemini - Take your inspiration this summer from the flip-flop. Iconic of casual fashion, good times, and warm weather. Colorful, comfortable, accessible, and laid back - that's you. Cheap, tacky, occasionally noisy and prone to falling apart at the worst possible time. That's also you! You are what you are! Be your best flip-flop this summer! Just know that come fall, it’s time to be a sensible ballet flat.
Cancer - You know that feeling when a song comes on, and it's just the perfect song, at the right time, and you feel like it totally just gets you? Yeah, it's that kind of summer for you. But pick the right song. I Wanna Be Sedated by The Ramones is up tempo, relevant, and timely, but is it the party anthem you want to rally to this summer? Maybe Lizzo will drop something good soon.
Leo - Finding your soulmate is a lot like finding the perfect cantaloupe. You have to look carefully for one that's not covered in fruit flies. You have to squeeze, sniff, poke and thump... you know what - finding your soulmate is nothing like picking a cantaloupe. But done properly, both are sweet, invigorating, and good for your health!
Virgo - No doubt you've seen these magazine covers promising your most sensual summer ever, or the beach weekend of your dreams, or 16 poolside concoctions guaranteed to be the hit of the party. Don't believe the hype. Sure, those glossy covers look enticing, but they paid a lot of money for all that shiny goodness. Put on some sunscreen and settle in for mediocrity over the next few months.
Libra - Your summer is going to be just like it's out of a magazine! This will be your most sensual summer ever! You will have the beach weekend of your dreams, and make exactly 16 poolside concoctions guaranteed to be the hit of the party. Believe the hype. All that glitters is, in fact, gold – plus a little body glitter and your fabulous tan! Shine on, friend!
Scorpio - Wearing a mask is nothing new for you. In addition to years of spa masks and Halloween masks, there's that invisible mask you wear to keep people from knowing the real you. Time to take the mask off and let everyone in. Metaphorically, that is. Keep your face covering on and let them get to know the “real you” on Zoom. Well, real enough for now, anyway.
Sagittarius - You know how in horror films that take place at summer camp, there's always one goofball that gets offed because he isn't taking things seriously, and he goes to the Arts and Craft shack to play a prank, then winds up dead with a lanyard in his mouth? There's a lesson there. You should be watching less predictable horror films. Also, camps are canceled. Try and find something for the kids to do. Good luck!
Capricorn - As a kid, you might have taken an old mayonnaise jar, poked a few holes in the lid and filled it with lightning bugs. Or fireflies - they're the same thing, but what you call them depends on where you're from. Not the point here. The point is now that you've spent a few months trapped in a proverbial old smelly jar, you can kind of see things from their perspective, can't you? Who’s the a-hole now, huh?