Kind Hearts

I dream a lot.  I daydream, I dream most nights... I seem to be dreaming a ton since the work from home started.

I am dreaming a lot about the kids I grew up with, although we are adults in the dream and none of it makes much sense.

Truth be told, I not doing well in isolation. I'm sure nobody is doing great, but I feel my mental health being stretched thinner than normal.

It's lonely.  I work all day, with occasional chats with co-workers on IM. I text a little, call Mom at some point each day, and of course, there is some interaction on social media.

Scratch that. On social media, I read about what friends are up to. They read, what I hope to be a humorous view of something I think or feel. There are comments from people who are probably as brittle as I am, trying to keep it together, just like me.

But it's easier to employ observational humor when there is outside stimuli.

And there are only so many cute stories about Piper I can tell. She is a fun girl, but she likes eat, sleep, play a little, and bark. That is it.

Of course, Matt is here every evening, but he's an introvert who spent all his social currency for the day getting through work.

And there isn't any hockey.  The other night, he picked out an odd movie about an impending nuclear apocalypse called Miracle Mile. He said he was surprised I didn't care for it.  Really?   It was...ok - but dark. Heavy. I need light in every sense of the word.

We were told late last week that we (my company) will be out until end of April now. So I have another month. I am trying to stay home as much as I can - save a few quick runs for groceries, and to mail our census/a bill/ Mom's birthday card.

I know I don't want to catch this thing. But I just wonder at what point will they tighten the lockdown.

And what's essential to you and essential to me may mean two different things. Can we define it better?

Look, I am willing to do this... whatever it is... but when it's all over, I am going somewhere - dressed nicely, bra with an underwire, real shoes - and I am going to eat brunch, and touch my face, and observe the human condition.

Until then, I may not post much. Or I may post a bunch with nothing to say.

Or, maybe I will tell you my sad, boring swiss cheese-plotted dreams.



Christopher said…
I'm sorry you're having difficulty with this, and I understand. At first the working-from-home thing was kind of exciting but it's starting to wear me down too. The other night I was thrilled to go pick up a pizza just to get out of the house.
I know we'll get through this. In the meantime I look forward to seeing you, however, occasionally, and to the time when it will be possible to go out.