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I am putting this into writing because I want to come back to it at some point. This will be intentionally vague.

Basically, I don't like having to watch myself with people I should be able to be authentic with.

I don't like being told what to say and not to say.

I hate that I feel like I missed out on something incredibly essential. I have some serious longing for a metaphorical train ride I never took.

And one that I am no longer in queue for.

I wish I had more, but also less.

And I need to do the work. It's time.

I also need to invest my energy carefully.

Basically, I am a little blue. I don't want to unpack it now, so this is a little dogear.

Dog ears are the best fidget spinners ever.

I'll work through it later.