Recollections of Items Previous*

So, last night, on Project Runway, the challenge was to make a "dream dress" for "real women".  The women ended up being the hard working ladies of NYC. A ferry deckhand, a sanitation worker, a teacher, a fire fighter, a police officer and a postal worker.

Most of the outfits were gorgeous.  They sent, IMO, the wrong terrible dress guy home, but that's another story for another day.

Three of the dresses were, in fact, dreamy.

The one I liked best didn't win, but that's fashion for you.

The thing is, I'm dealing with a dream dress situation of my own right now.

With that, a brief early history of dresses I have loved:

Circa 1978:  I had a skirt and blouse ensemble - the blouse was a rust colored, banded neck button down.  The skirt was a teal corduroy a-line skirt with an inverted pleat, which was lined with the blouse fabric.  It was sharp AF, and I was the most fashion forward four year old ever.

Circa 1980:  My mother made me a sundress - navy with small white polka dots.  I wore it constantly.  It washed and dried easily and quickly.  I loved that dress.

Circa 1982:  Another sundress.  Rust, white and navy cotton plaid with eyelet trim.  So cute.

Circa 1986:  I had a dress from Pier I - back when Pier I still sold clothing. It was hot pink with a fitted, button down bodice (that had some detailing in the same tone thread), long puffed sleeves and a full tea length skirt.  I wore it with teal flats.  It was killer.

Circa 1992:  Another Pier I Dress - this one was a  scoop neck, fitted bodice, short sleeves, full skirt - black and white gingham seersucker.  I had some adventures in this dress.  Hot dates, a flight from Houston to Atlanta in a thunderstorm, several fundraising events for a club I was in...this dress went places.  And I went there in it.

I'm going to stop there for now, because it's the circa 1992 dress that brings this whole thing to what is plaguing me today.

I saw a dress online a few weeks ago- black and white gingham seersucker.  A cut that would be far kinder to present day me.  It's one that can be worn off shoulder or on shoulder.  It has sleeves.  The price was right, so I ordered it.  And then and I sat back and waited.  I planned posting a picture of it on FB so that my former hot dates could see it and eat their hearts out. 

This isn't me, or the intended photo.

It arrived Wednesday, and there are really two issues.  One is that it is short.  I knew it was a short dress, but even for a short dress, it makes me a little nervous.  In fact, when I pulled it out of the shipping pouch, I wondered if they had mistakenly sent me a shirt.  But let's come back to that one.

The bigger issue is the neckline.  Even if I were wearing it off-shoulder, it would be way too loose.  Like, danger of exposure arrests...

So, I took it over to my friend Rosie's while we watched Runway, and she agreed with me that I could easily remove a bunch of elastic from the neckline and bring it in to a far more forgiving size.

Which I think I'd like to do.

But that doesn't solve the fact that it's short.  My legs aren't my best feature.  Neither is showing my ass when I bend over.  Which can and will happen in that dress.  And I'll be damned if I am going to wear tights or leggings in summer just to wear the dress.

So now, I wonder... should I just buy some fabric and a pattern and get someone to make me a dress that is actually suited to me and my special needs?

I went on eShakti - and the problem there is that the cuts of their dresses are strange, and really suited more toward thin women.  I don't need to be wearing a fit and flare anything - unless it's a circus tent, and even then - I'd benefit from a more relaxed cut.

Anyway, that's what's happening here.

It's exciting, isn't it?

Make it work. Carry on.

*Thanks to Marcel Proust for the inspiration.