Lesser Existential Questions of the Modern Era*

Is diet Pepsi ok**?

Are you on Instagram?

What was your 3rd grade teacher's name?

Are you still watching?

Where the hell did I park the car?

Is it Friday yet?

Does this make me look fat?

Do you think this mole is "suspicious"?

What crawled up her butt and died?

Who the hell does he think he is?

What does your tattoo mean?

Are you my Lyft driver?

Is that gluten-free?

Have you tried Keto?

Can I use your phone charger?

Does this spark joy?

Would you like to receive emails notifying you of sales and special offers?

Are you sure?

Have you seen my keys?

Do they deliver?

Can you believe this shit?

Should I wear a jacket?

What does Yelp say?

Is there a YouTube video for that?

Is it "Facebook official"?

Have you checked Amazon?

New phone, who dis?

U up? 


Where am I going? And by that, I mean, can you pull up directions on the phone?

Siri, what is the meaning of life?

*McSweeney said no, but the editor did say it was good to see me submitting...

**No.  I'll take water.


Christopher said…
It's more than a little disconcerting that it's been five years since the library reference desk was flooded with students asking, "What does the fox say?"
On the bright side the library reference desk is no longer flooded with students asking, "What does the fox say?"