Call 'Em

I went to see my pulmonologist this morning.  As one does.

Now, my lungs are fine. I breathe like a champ, y'all.

But I have a CPAP for my sleep apnea, and I have to go see the guy once a year to prove I am using it so that insurance keeps paying for it.

Anyway, according to the doctor, I've gained a few pounds since this time last year - which is actually helpful information to have, because it tells me that my clothes from last summer should still fit, and that they'll fit better when/if I drop those few pounds.

As you may recall, I had some recent success on keto, but here's the problem - as soon as I strayed from it, I went hog wild on sugar.  Hog being the operative phrase.  I gained about half the weight I lost back in about half the time it took to lose it.

So, that's not ideal.  And I'm not sure that it's a sustainable diet for me.

Anyway, I'll get back to that in a minute.  But first, I want to share with you every piece of weight loss advice I've ever gotten from a Medical Professional:

Have you tried Weight Watchers?

Would you like a referral to a nutritionist?

Have you considered keto?

Have you ever worked with a dietician?

You know, it's really all about burning more calories than you consume.

Have you thought about surgery?  You're a candidate.

Maybe you can re-evaluate your relationship with food.

Would you like to try medication?

Are you exercising?

What about South Beach?

We can check your thyroid, but I don't think that's going to be it.

What really helps is drinking water and unsweet tea.  No smoothies or anything like that.

That last one was from today.

Here's the thing- do they think at this point that I haven't tried a lot of those things?  I haven't had surgery, but of course, I've read up on it.

Here's the questions: I'd ask, if I were my doctor.

What do/did your parents look like?  What were their struggles with weight and eating?  What of those traits and issues did you inherit from them?  What was their relationship with food like?  Were you ever rewarded or punished with food or the denial of food?

What about your siblings?  Do you have similar or disparate body types, and how did that manifest growing up?

Does your spouse struggle with food and weight issues?  Are you supportive of each other, or do you enable shared bad habits?  What can you do so that you both have a healthier life together?  And if you are not getting the support you need there, what can you do to overcome those obstacles?

Do you have the time and money needed to buy and prepare the healthy food you need, or is it a struggle to manage your diet?  Were you aware that a Chopt salad is about 5X more expensive than a McDonald's double cheeseburger?

Does your career influence your diet, and your eating habits?  What kind of support or lack of it can you expect from colleagues?  Is your work schedule compatible with having a healthy diet?

What does your social life look like?  How much of it revolves around food?  Do you find that your social anxiety contributes to overeating in social situations?  Given that you don't like to drink, does food become your "social lubricant"?

How often do you express your love for others by feeding them, and how does that translate into self-care? 

What kind of link to your late father does food create?  Do you feed your grief, or cook foods that were "his" in his memory, or to feel his presence, or preserve his legacy?

Which is more exhausting to you:  the physical burden of carrying extra weight on your frame, or the emotional gravity of being a larger women in a society where looks are everything?

Do you always scan a room to see if you're the biggest person there?  What does that feel like?

How frustrated are you that clothes for larger women appear to be a form of humiliation/torture/punishment?

When I suggest CUTTING YOUR BODY OPEN so that you can lose weight and be more societally acceptable, how does that make you feel?

Have you ever avoided or dreaded seeing me because of my commentary on your weight?

Do you wonder if I attribute anything wrong with you to your weight, or are you confident that I examine you as a whole person and not just the adipose lump in Exam Room 9?

Do you wonder how I know so GD much about being fat when I myself look like I've never been an ounce over a size six?

When I say obvious things like exercising and reducing calories can help you lose weight, does it feel like I think you must be an idiot?  Because if you understand those simple concepts, why are you still fat?

And finally:  Mounds or Almond Joy?

Mounds Dark Chocolate Snack Sized Dark Chocolate Bars - 11.3oz - image 1 of 5
Mounds, obviously, because dark chocolate has antioxidants.

Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions, y'all.   The unexamined life is not worth living.  Someone said that*.  Tolstoy, Descartes, maybe Mary Worth.

Love you, mean it.


*It was Socrates, I looked it up.


Lisa said…
Printing this out and taking it to my doctor appointment.
Christopher said…
This is why doctors' appointments should leave plenty of time for you, the patient, to ask questions--because all of your questions are perfectly reasonable and ones that deserve to be answered by someone who thoughtfully and respectfully considers them.

Also I have honestly learned something here today. I've always been torn between Mounds and Almond Joy--I like almonds, but I also like coconut enough that it doesn't need almonds--but now I will always pick Mounds. Dark chocolate FTW.