Bae

I would say that my life is about 88% delightful, 12% suck.  Give or take.  These are estimates. 

But the point is, my life is good.  And I have been laughing a lot recently because I am surrounded by joy.  

There's this whole "Spark Joy" thing going on.  A TV show called The Joy of Tidying Up where this lovely Japanese woman shows you how to declutter your life.  Well, great.  I need to watch, but I'd have to find a place on the couch to sit down.

I kid, I kid.  

Mostly.

My mother heard about something called Swedish Death Cleaning - and that's her new kick.  The point is that you clean your house so well that when you die, the people left behind have very little work to do.

My current cleaning regimen is called "American Treading Water" - which is much like it sounds.  I am focused primarily on laundry and kitchen - and that takes about all the energy and time I have to offer.  As a result, there are three rooms in our house that haven't seen much of me.  Maybe I should hire a professional declutterer - I know they exist - I am friends with one on Facebook.  She is the cousin of a former classmate/bestie. She lives in Texas, so that's a problem.  But maybe she knows someone.

Anyway.  It would be nice to have someone come in and bulldoze through it all.  But our biggest issue, other than too much stuff, is lack of practical storage.  We have a house built in the 1930s.  So, no closets, really.  No garage because we live in the city.  We park on-street, so we don't even have a driveway.  The cellar is unfinished, and in fact, is entered from outside the house.  Because of that, we don't store things that can't tough it out in an unfinished cellar.

That all falls under the 12% suck.  So even the things that suck, suck only marginally.

In food news:

The whole keto lifestyle is, as it turns out, very liveable.  I am doing "dirty keto" which is apparently vastly inferior, per a shitload of strangers on the internet.  Basically, instead of focusing on fat found in vegetables and fruits, I am getting fat from things like bacon and cream cheese.  I can't help it - Gwyneth Paltrow, I am not.   Also, Welsh names always look wrong.  Her mother, Blythe Danner has a much more spellable name.  Just saying.


But keto seems to be working, at least that is for the two weeks I've been doing it.  Time will tell.  If I grow a third ear, I'll stop eating pork rinds.  I mean, if Cheetos were keto, then obviously, I'd do that instead - but for now, I am just going to stay the course.

Especially because staying the course means jalapeno popper chicken.

The other big news is that tomorrow morning, I'm getting a massage.  Everything is knotted up - this will be a start - and I need to commit to getting my knots unkinked more often. 

OK, so, now you know what you need to in order to make the conclusion that I am one boring old broad.