Scurry Down

First, the boring shit.

I took Tuesday off to get a few things handled.  A few doctors' appointments, picked out some glasses, did some shopping for the kid I picked off the Angel Tree at work. 

Twelve year old kids are hard to shop for, as it turns out.  I don't know anything about sizes, and let's be honest, it has been decades since I was twelve, and even then, I was a bit of a fashion nightmare. The trouble is, I am fairly conservative, as twelve-year-old clothing goes.  There was some serious sluttitude in the juniors department.

Anyway, I got her set up, more or less.

That was the most time-consuming errand on the list.  It was also the easiest to complete, sort of.

The first doctor visit of the day was a lady-parts thing.  Without going into waaaay too much detail, let's just say it was unpleasant, and that I have ensured that for another five years, my births will be controlled.

Picking glasses was a total pain in the ass.  I need progressive lenses, which means I need a lens that is fairly tall.  But given that I look terrible in round or square frames, limited my options.  I probably tried on 100 pairs. I finally settled on some fairly plain brown tortoise shells.

The final stop of my day was to my dentist to get some old fillings, and I mean, ancient mercury fillings replaced.  That was far easier and less painful than the first visit.  They both took 30 minutes and out.

So, that was my "day off" this week.  It was kind of a quiet week, not that I didn't keep busy, it's just that it was fairly low-key.

Now, that said, let me get to the big news.  Today, McSweeney's published a piece I wrote a few weeks ago.

You can read it here:

I take back anything mean I ever said about them.  Honestly.

Now,  I'm not going to get what my friend Jim would call "penisy".  I am going to keep sending things to them, and I am sure I won't become a frequent contributor, but it was a nice way to end out my year, and it has been a marvelous year, so...

That's why I've been keeping kind of a low profile the last few days.

But now the cat is out of the bag.

Image result for cat

Now with ice cream!



Christopher said…
This weekend after not having checked McSweeney's for a month or so I went to it and read this hilarious holiday shopping article, laughed my damn head off because I know at least one of those guys, and then, because I rarely look at authors, and almost never before reading anything, I glanced at who it was by and thought, hey, that name...sounds familiar.
Thank you for confirming that it was you, and congratulations! It's really a gift for all of us.