With Apologies to Paul Simon*

There Must Be...50 Ways to Eat Leftovers

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Eat until they make you sick, Nick

Plug in the Instant Pot, Scott.

Share 'em with your sis, Chris.

Fire up a flatbread, Ned.

Give 'em to your pet, Rhett.

Turn 'em into a fajita, Peter.

Cover 'em in soy, Roy.

Slurp 'em like bubble tea, Lee.

Toss 'em on a plate, Nate.

Add 'em to a can of soup, Coop.

Dice 'em up into a hash, Nash.

Simmer in a creamy sauce, Ross.

Take 'em to go, Monroe.

Blend into a milkshake, Jake.

Drink 'em with a salted rim, Jim.

Use 'em in kinky sex, Rex.

Garnish with watercress, Wes.

Deep fry 'em in oil, Doyle.

Top your frozen yogurt, Curt.

Chow down over the sink, Wink.

Marinate with Lemon juice, Bruce.

Pop 'em as a snack, Zack.

Fold into a souffle, Ray.

Microwave 'em for a while, Kyle.

Put 'em in your sandwich, Mitch.

Throw 'em on the grill, Phil.

Craft a burrito, Tito.

Mix 'em with fried rice, Price.

Bury in the potted plants, Lance.

Deglaze 'em in a pan, Stan.

Cook up a stir fry, Guy.

Make yourself a batch of chili, Billy.

Dunk 'em in your dairy, Gary.

Season 'em with curry, Murray.

Smother 'em in cheese, Aziz.

Stash 'em in your granny's urn, Vern.

Sprinkle 'em with salt, Walt.

With a side of cod, Todd.

Enjoy 'em farm to table, Abel.

Steam 'em with a veggie, Reggie.

Try out a sous-vide, Reid.

Stick 'em in your stew, Lou.

Hide 'em in a clafouti, Rudy.

Whip up a casserole, Joel.

Nosh on 'em from a bowl, Cole.

Serve 'em in mason jars, Lars

Leave 'em in the fridge at work, Dirk.

Heat 'em up in bacon fat, Matt.

Boil water and throw 'em in, Quinn.

Get a recipe from Mom, Tom.

*And to all the men friends whose names I have besmirched here.


Christopher said…
For the first time in my life I wish I were named Rex.
Also I'm reminded of that old Pizza Hut commercial that ends with "flaming turkey wings!" and I wonder how could someone possibly have that much leftovers.