This Just In

Here are a few things I have to share.

-  I have not eaten a single vegetable or fruit today, but I did eat quite a few Apple Pie flavored Oreos (Limited Edition, so hurry!).  They are weird, but I recalled liking them last fall, and it's a vote against Pumpkin Spice, so, all hail Apple Pie Oreos.

With graham cracker flavored cookie.  Why?

- I'm not exactly proud of the fact that today was veggie free, but I do know that tomorrow, we're going to Chopt and get salads for lunch, so, I will try to make amends then.

- I have been having weird dreams lately.  Ones where I'm screaming at people, or having to get rid of some baby goats because they attacked someone, and one where this was this huge oil painting of giraffes who had been skinned and looked like piles of bone and muscle.  It was disturbing.  The truth is, if you don't deal with your shit during the waking hours, you are going to have to deal with it while you sleep.

- Hockey!  The Preds are playing tonight - their first of the season.  It's an away game against the Rangers, and since NYC is kind of a big deal market, NBC Sports is covering the game.  It's not a bad deal at all.  And!  The game just ended  - Preds beat the Rangers 3-2!  BOOM!

- I downloaded a crossword puzzle app recently, and while it's no Crashy Cats, it does kill time nicely.  I will say that they are not Will Shortz caliber, and I am finding the same words used over and over and over.  Uma Thurman, the French verb etre, "a tad", tata, Mel Ott, and so on.  I need harder puzzles.  Even the Very Hard level I can finish in about 15 minutes.  I need to work harder than that.

- We have a spider living in the kitchen.  It kills a ton of flies, etc.  I'm thinking of seeing if he knows any other spiders that do laundry, painting, etc.   A spider-based workforce would be amazing.

- It's too freaking hot for October.  I understand that we don't really get much fall in the southeastern US, but damn.  DAMN.  It was 89 degrees today.  That is just brutal.

- I ordered a skin treatment on Amazon today called "Milky Piggy Hell Pore" - a Korean product you slather on your face and it apparently hurts, but when you remove it, your skin looks like the pores have been deep cleaned with a pressure washer full of kitten tears.  Or whatever.  K-Beauty is OK with me.

- I got a haircut yesterday - nobody would notice except me.  She debulked it on top and cleaned up the neck.  I was getting dangerously close to hockey hair.  I adore my stylist - Italian-American from Chicago.  No bullshit, and she loves to work with curly hair.  She gets me.  The thing is, I found her by total change.  I Googled Aveda Salons in the area because I use Aveda, and my salon/guy in Atlanta were Aveda.  The closest salon was one called "True Blue" over on West End.  Well, True Blue is one of those key phrases in my life.  Dad used to call people who were loyal "true blue".  He told other people that I was true blue.  And, btw, I totally am.  So it felt like it was meant to be.  And it was.  You cannot ignore certain coincidences from the universe, people.

- In re: above.  I am reminded of the book The Prince Of Tides and how seals and tigers became sacred to the Wingo family.  I really need to re-read that book.  By the way, to be clear, Barbra Streisand should never have played Lowenstein.  Also, she made it too much about their relationship, which was not as major a plot point in the book.

- I need to read something good.  Buzzfeed, Dodo and Woke Sloth are all fine, but I need something more challenging than Listicles.

- I think listicles sound dirty.  Like, Penthouse Forum dirty.

- There aren't any good magazines any more.  I enjoy Southern Living, but it is weak on content, the content in Real Simple is good, but it's not simple.  Here's a $300 white button down shirt that we tested and love!  Fuck you, Real Simple.  I miss Mental Floss.  Sure, they have a great website, but they were perfect for travel.  I am too damn old for Cosmo, and not fashionable enough for Elle, Marie Claire, Vogue.  I am not hausfrau enough for Family Circle, Good Housekeeping, Redbook (although I don't hate them), and I am over Food Network Mag, Cooking Light and Weight Watchers Magazine.  I feel judged.  Paula Deen and Martha Stewart?  Meh.

- I binged Season One of Forever on Amazon Prime.  It was so strange.  I like Maya Rudolph a lot.  She fascinates me.  I find Fred Armisen to be a little weird.  This opinion may not be popular, but I didn't think Portlandia was all that.  Someone once told me I reminded him of Carrie Brownstein - which is a nice sentiment, but it's the same thing when people say I remind them of Melissa McCarthy.  Both of them are very physical comedians, and my sense of humor is not at all based in physicality.  But back to the show.  If you happen to watch it - ping me - I want to discuss it - specifically the episode entitled Sarah and Andre.

- I need a massage.  I know, I know... but really.  Like, a good one. 

- And some damn green vegetables.  Seriously.



Maybe you could become a snail. You could eat all the green vegetables you want and you'd never need a massage.
Christopher said…
Thank you so much for letting the spider in the kitchen live and do its work of killing bugs.
And I found Portlandia to be very hit-and-miss, mostly misses, and even the hits were often weak, with the exception of the couple binge-watching BSG. That just got funnier and funnier and then had the perfect ending.