It's a hoax!

Back in my twenties I loved reading self-help books.  Whether it was advice on mental health, love, fashion, diet - I read bunches of them.

Most of the advice contained therein didn't stick.  A few tidbits did:

-  If something will be funny later, it's funny now (I'm not entirely sure I believe this, but I think it's about 70% true).

-  If you're cooking for one or two people, shop for produce at the salad bar, because it creates less waste.

-  Double depression is when you have a low-grade, chronic depression in conjunction with a major depressive incident.

-  Potatoes, not Prozac.  I don't remember the exact ratio here, it was a book about eating yourself out of depression.  It didn't work.

-  Feel the fear and do it anyway!

-  Get the love you want and keep the love you have (how, I'm a little vague on, but there was a workbook).

The one book that really stuck with me is one I've talked about before here -it was written by a plus-sized model and talked about how to dress, create a uniform, etc. 

But it talked about four basic body types:

H  (rectangular)

O  (round, apple)

A  (triangular, pear)

X  (hourglass)

And it talked about how to dress them. 

Now, this isn't new, or especially interesting.  We've all read these articles about how to dress for our type.

I have been pretty well every shape on this list at some point - or some permutation of them.

My current shape, according to measurements and charts, is H  -  Rectangular. She's a brick.... house.

If we're being honest, this is closer to my current shape:

Even the curl on top is representative of my coiffure.

But if I were trying to dress that ice cream,  I think I'd go for a large rectangular caftan.

Anyway, I learned from reading up on this that my instincts have been mostly good.  I tend to seek out the kind of clothes that make me look less like a short phonebooth and more like a curvy, sensual fire hydrant.

It's all good.  It is.  I think the point, when buying clothes is to buy things you love, don't hold onto things because you think you should like them (but don't).  And don't wait to be perfect to love the way you look.  I deserve to dress well at any size I happen to be wearing.

And don't get too caught up on whether you're an A or a Pear an H on top and a Buddha's Hand on the bottom.  

Buddha's Hand - it's a citrus fruit.  They're amazing.  But if you're really shaped like this avoid jeggings.

I'm still fixated on the dearth of cotton out there this summer.  So.  Much.  Rayon.  I stopped a woman at Kroger a few weeks back because she had on a great cotton dress and we had the rayon conversation.  It's not just me.

Help yourself by taking self-help books with a grain of salt.  Trust your gut, and barring that, find a friend and trust theirs.

And once you trust your gut, smush it into submission: