Here are some things I've been thinking about.

1.  Avocado toast is kind of a new thing.  Should I try it?  It is a waste of avocado?  A waste of toast?  Altogether disgusting or a taste sensation?  I should probably try it.

2.  Car drivers:  when you come to a pedestrian crossing and let someone pass, you're not DOING THEM A FAVOR.  You are sparing yourself having to clean blood off your car - after you are released from your vehicular manslaughter sentence.

3. Pedestrians:  If you are going to run, walk, ride a bike at night, get a metric ton of flashy lights and reflective tape.  Because if you come bounding out into the road like a ninja gazelle, I actually am doing you a favor in not hitting you. Assholes.

4.  I know more punchlines to jokes than the setups. Maybe I should learn some new jokes start to finish.

5. I love my gel nails for about 13 days, and on day 14, they have GOT TO GO.

Day 14

6.  I have been a registered voter for 24 years.  I've been called for Jury Duty ONCE.  Didn't even get to voir dire before I was released.  I realize I am jinxing myself.

7.  Jumping all over the Jeopardy board looking for Daily Doubles makes you an asshole.

8. I love Brussels sprouts. And greens.  And... I want my kitchen back.

9. I'm totally on board with aromatherapy, but I think using essential oils to treat illness is voodoo.  That said, I'm willing to try it to get rid of a mole that I hate.

10. I am thinking of giving myself a creative writing assignment for 2017.  Details to follow.

11.  I'm just angry that I didn't write this myself.