Glutton for Punishment

There are all kinds of garbagey foods that I love.  What made me think of this is that they're calling for possible inclement weather here in the Nashville area, and in prep for that, I needed to get some food in the house.  As you will.

So, I picked up the requisites - bread, milk, eggs.  And while that seems a little arbitrary, it's not.  Especially if I tell you my in-laws gave us three pounds of Benton's bacon for Christmas.  In which case, you'll have to admit that my purchases are spot on. 

I also got a few delicacies from my youth.   Chef Boyardee.  And...

The look of the can has not changed in over forty years.

Dinty Moore Beef Stew.  Look, I know it's akin to Alpo, full of sodium and fat, but it takes me back to a simpler time, when a snow day was a treat, not a hassle. 

But I refuse to apologize.  I love the stuff.

And while we're at it, I also like:

Libby's Corned Beef
Potted Meat
Deviled Ham
Wise Cheez Waffies
White Bread (Bimbo, Bunny, Wonderbread, Sunbeam - IDGAF!)
Uncrustables (those PBJ pockets found in the freezer section)
Bologna (though I really need to be all beef)
American Cheese
Boxed Mac and Cheese (prefer Velveeta, but I'm flexible)
Velveeta (or the Kroger brand equivalent)
Campbell's Chicken and Stars
Campbell's Meatball Alphabet Soup
Snack Cakes (Little Debbie is my first preference, but Hostess is fine)
Pudding Cups
Fruit Cocktail - with the red-dyed grape "cherry"
Hot Dogs (but like the bologna, all beef, please)
Canned Biscuits
Frozen Waffles
Apple Juice
Grape Juice
Cheese Puffs/Ball (curls in a pinch, but come on)
Tuna Casserole
Cafeterias in general - especially if they have jello cut into cubes
Carrot Raisin Salad (Chick-fil-A should never have dumped this from the menu)
Canned Asparagus
Fruit Roll Ups
Sugary Cereak (Cap'n Crunch, Lucky Charms and Golden Grahams for instance)

The thing is, I also love classy, healthy food.  Artisan Popsicles, Lobster Rolls, Charcuterie, Raw Oysters, Brussels sprouts, Filet Mignon, Lamb Chops in Lavender Sauce...

But when you're snowed in and it's cold, there's something really, really right about a can of greasy "beef" stew over a few hot canned biscuits straight from the oven.

I have limits though.  Instant Grits?  Shame on you.  Just, shame.