Poetic? Just us.

I've had a few days of total cranky.  Justifiable, as it always is in my little world.

Here's what's happening.

1.  I am getting a CPAP machine.  Got the results Monday, and my apnea ranges from mild to moderate depending on the sleep stage I'm in.  Now, here's the thing.  Because of my insurance, I have to pay a $1500 deductible before it starts paying a dime.  This sounds like a good thing, and if you're never sick, it's great.

But if, like me, you *need* something, well...  fuck you and the ambulance you rode in on.  So I'll be paying out of pocket for the sleep study, and the machine will be out of pocket, too.  So.  Yay.   That's not even what has me the most irritated.  What bugs me is that I got a two minute call from the nurse to tell me, yes, I have mild/moderate apnea.  I can either do a machine or a mouth guard, but the doc thinks the machine is my better choice.  Two minutes for an eight hour study.

The next day, my results appear in PDF form on my Patient Portal - a secure site where they can post my medical records.  What's interesting is that both my at home study from two years ago, and my study from a week ago appear on the portal  Magically.  Anyway, the bottom line from both of them, if I had to put it into a Haiku:

Fat girl is tired;
She seems to have some issues;
Lose some weight, fat girl!

So anyway, pride be damned.  I get my machine.  Thanks, Dr. Milstone.  And thanks for nothing, United Healthcare.  Literally.

Letter in the mail:
Please remit total amount!
Lost weight from wallet.

2.  I got an e mail about my quarterly goals and I decided to say something about two of them.  They are to meet a set of numbers that I have no control over, and that bothers me.  So I said to the boss, "this bothers me - I want to discuss it next time we meet".  He replies with "I totally get your concern", then a few paragraphs later says, "I don't understand why you're worried."

Workplace etiquette.
So hard for me to follow.
Talk... less. Ha. Smile more.

3.  I had to change my password for work, and that irritates the hell out of me because it requires letters, numbers, special characters, a hair sample and a secret handshake.    And I couldn't sync my network password with one of the others I use all the time, so now I have two strings of nonsense to commit to memory.  I fussed with it ALL afternoon.

Used that one before!
Must contain an Uppercase;
Passwords do not match.

4. I ended up eating way too many mixed nuts today in response to my agitation, which...see #1. 

Eating her feelings.
Feelings and nuts both salty;
Lose some weight, fat girl!

5. My back has been tweaked for about a week.  Lower back pain.  I need to get stretched out on a rack.

Hey, you there - fat girl!
You say your back is hurting?
Maybe... lose some weight?

6.  I saw these amazing pants at the store a few months back and didn't buy them because they were for Spring and it was January.  And I went back today for them.  They have them in a 14 and a 28.  I am neither of these sizes.  They were green and fabulous.  They are sold out online.

Tell me these are not fabulous.

Fat girl's guide to life.
Shop early and shop often.
No green pants for you!

That's kind of where I am.

I actually feel better having blogged it.

Typing therapy
Writing helps clear the stuck brain
Blog yourself happy

- ae


The pants are fabulous - that is my very favorite shade of green. Unfortunately, I think it would take legs approximately 3x the length of mine to pull off the cut. But hey, keep looking, you might get lucky.

I had United Healthcare once upon a time, and as I recall, your assessment is spot-on: It's great insurance if you don't actually need it. I further recall that when I had Precocious Daughter I was so outraged at the amount they expected me to pay that I simply ignored the bills and dared them to repo my baby. Spoiler alert: They did not repo my baby.

I used to eat my feelings. Now I drink my feelings. Not recommending that as an alternative therapeutic approach. Just saying.

Finally...Drummer Boy has some mild-to-moderate sleep apnea, as well. He doesn't have the means to pay for a sleep study or a machine out of pocket (his insurance sucks, too), so mostly he's just learned to be tired. That's...not helpful at all, is it? On the other hand, I empathize, for what that's worth.

You keep kicking ass, girl. Because you can.