I had a conversation yesterday that kind of left me mad and then sad and then enlightened.
I was talking with a friend about the chicken fried misteak dinner (see last post), and about the pie and coffee place I had passed on the way home. And he mentioned something about really liking coffee with dinner, and not just dessert.
And I said, "Well, I really don't drink much coffee, so..."
My friend was surprised by this. And finally, I said, "All those times we've been out together and stopped at Starbucks or Dunkin, and I didn't get a coffee - did that not occur to you?"
To which he replied, "I was so happy with my own coffee, I didn't notice you not having one."
Well, that... kind of says it all.
And here's the thing - we've even HAD the coffee talk before when I explained that growing up in Atlanta, Coke was an acceptable substitute for coffee, and I usually do a Coke Zero. And he argued with me that hot beverages are consumed in hot climates for their cooling effect. Ok, fine. You win. I still only drink it once a month, tops.
But because I'm me, I actually even know HOW my close friends take their coffee - he's cream, no sugar - for example.**
Why do I know that? Because sometimes I will drink an iced nonfat latte, or an iced coffee with skim, and if I'm feeling benevolent, I'll get coffee for a friend. Usually my work husband, but whomever, really.
And the nice thing to do is impress them with the right thing.
I'm not saying I'm right, or I want everyone to be like me, but maybe I need to be more into my own coffee.
To that end - I was chatting with another friend on FB tonight and didn't feel like getting into some drama and I said, "You know, normally I'll play along, but I'm bone tired - let's have this conversation another time." And I got an abrupt, "Good Night." So 99% of the time I'll coddle you and tell you what you want to hear and tonight, I set a boundary and you act like a hurt child. Fiiiiiine.
I may need to redefine what I expect from people and what I'm willing to give them.
Because now I feel guilty. For no fucking reason.
Don't you love the weeks where this blog becomes in loco analyst?
*Cream, 2 Equals - or Splenda, but NOT Sweet n Low.
But any coffee you bring me will be more than generous enough.
ae
**I did text my BFF Connie because I didn't know hers. It's a half cup of milk, microwaved for 1:11 and coffee poured over it. I told her I take mine in ice cream form. Then we talked about Magic Mike and mammograms. I love Connie.
I was talking with a friend about the chicken fried misteak dinner (see last post), and about the pie and coffee place I had passed on the way home. And he mentioned something about really liking coffee with dinner, and not just dessert.
And I said, "Well, I really don't drink much coffee, so..."
My friend was surprised by this. And finally, I said, "All those times we've been out together and stopped at Starbucks or Dunkin, and I didn't get a coffee - did that not occur to you?"
To which he replied, "I was so happy with my own coffee, I didn't notice you not having one."
Well, that... kind of says it all.
And here's the thing - we've even HAD the coffee talk before when I explained that growing up in Atlanta, Coke was an acceptable substitute for coffee, and I usually do a Coke Zero. And he argued with me that hot beverages are consumed in hot climates for their cooling effect. Ok, fine. You win. I still only drink it once a month, tops.
But because I'm me, I actually even know HOW my close friends take their coffee - he's cream, no sugar - for example.**
Why do I know that? Because sometimes I will drink an iced nonfat latte, or an iced coffee with skim, and if I'm feeling benevolent, I'll get coffee for a friend. Usually my work husband, but whomever, really.
And the nice thing to do is impress them with the right thing.
I'm not saying I'm right, or I want everyone to be like me, but maybe I need to be more into my own coffee.
To that end - I was chatting with another friend on FB tonight and didn't feel like getting into some drama and I said, "You know, normally I'll play along, but I'm bone tired - let's have this conversation another time." And I got an abrupt, "Good Night." So 99% of the time I'll coddle you and tell you what you want to hear and tonight, I set a boundary and you act like a hurt child. Fiiiiiine.
I may need to redefine what I expect from people and what I'm willing to give them.
Because now I feel guilty. For no fucking reason.
Don't you love the weeks where this blog becomes in loco analyst?
*Cream, 2 Equals - or Splenda, but NOT Sweet n Low.
But any coffee you bring me will be more than generous enough.
ae
**I did text my BFF Connie because I didn't know hers. It's a half cup of milk, microwaved for 1:11 and coffee poured over it. I told her I take mine in ice cream form. Then we talked about Magic Mike and mammograms. I love Connie.
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