Old, New, Feathers, Blue

I've been to two weddings this past month - one was for my cousins oldest daughter - the other was for two people I've never met - I was there as a photographer's assistant.

My cousin is about 26, I think?  She and her husband met in college, and moved to LA together, and they're sweet together.

The other wedding was an older couple, both previously married - widowed.  They were in, I'm guessing, their late sixties. 

Both weddings were held at private homes, with pastures as a backdrop.

They were night and day, in a lot of respects - with one major, unusual theme in common:

Livestock Gone Wild!

At the cousin's wedding, before the ceremony, I looked out in the pasture behind us and saw a horse with a massive erect penis.  I kept it together because I'm classy as hell, but of course I cataloged it in my sick brain.  Because horse schlong is huge and unforgettable.

At the wedding this weekend, there were a herd of beef cattle out in the pasture, and I gazed out to find the bull humping one of the lady bovine.   Later, I watched one of the cows pee, which amuses me to no end because it's like a fire hose.  Projectile urination.

So, you won't see it in bridal magazines til Spring, but you heard it here first.  Soon, unpredictable farm animals will be de rigeur at all the best events.  Will a goat lick another goat's balls?  Will a chicken lay an egg in the flowers at the altar?  Will a ewe butt the flower girl and eat her bouquet?

It could be that this was just a coincidence.  But isn't a series of coincidences basically a trend?


I rest my case.