So, when I was in college, I was in a sorority. Technically, I am still a sister. It's not just for four years, they'll tell you.
Anyway, that's one reason I found the recent incident in Isla Vista so disturbing. Because although we are somewhat elusive, exclusive and snotty, the sorority girl, on the whole, is just another college kid trying to get through four years of BS just like every other student on campus.
And being in a sorority doesn't guarantee you'll never feel lonely or awkward. I felt both of those things many, many times. In fact, there's nothing worse than feeling lonely and awkward surrounded by 200 beautiful confident sisters.
But then, I'm not the type of specimen to whom this Rodgers kid would have been attracted. Or felt entitled to. He didn't like chubby girls or brunettes.
I know this because I read his manifesto.
I wanted to know what we women had "done" to this kid to push him off the deep end.
Here's the thing. In 144 pages, he never says, "I asked her out and she said no". Never once. Now, if you're getting actively rejected, that sucks. It does. I've asked out guys and been told no thanks. It happens, and it hurts, and you get over it.
But I never sat there thinking, "I should have guys paying attention to me because I'm all that and a bag of chips."
You have to put yourself out there. Smiling at a rando in class and not getting a warm response isn't putting yourself out there.
It's going to be tempting for people to lay blame on something for this. I'm sure since he played a lot of video games, they'll come under scrutiny. It wasn't the games. I can assure you that they kept him occupied and off the streets so that it didn't happen sooner.
It wasn't sorority girls, who, to be fair, aren't put on this earth to stroke the ego of every man.
Is it his parents' fault? Maybe a little, but it seems like they did plenty to try and help him/stop the madness. He constantly berates his father for putting his stepmother before him. His mother overindulges him, but eventually gives him some tough love. They don't seem like horrible parents. Mad props to his stepmother for trying to keep it real.
Do we blame his shrinks/life coaches/socialization counselors (seriously, read the manifesto)? Maybe a little. But this kid was a Grade A manipulator. He fooled the police into thinking he was a nice, polite boy. I'm sure he lied to his therapists repeatedly.
Do we blame the system for allowing someone of his fragile mental state to purchase a gun? In my opinion, yes. YES! But then, if he fooled his therapists, couldn't he fool a gun seller? Probably.
So... then what?
As usual, The Onion nailed it.
ae
Anyway, that's one reason I found the recent incident in Isla Vista so disturbing. Because although we are somewhat elusive, exclusive and snotty, the sorority girl, on the whole, is just another college kid trying to get through four years of BS just like every other student on campus.
And being in a sorority doesn't guarantee you'll never feel lonely or awkward. I felt both of those things many, many times. In fact, there's nothing worse than feeling lonely and awkward surrounded by 200 beautiful confident sisters.
But then, I'm not the type of specimen to whom this Rodgers kid would have been attracted. Or felt entitled to. He didn't like chubby girls or brunettes.
I know this because I read his manifesto.
I wanted to know what we women had "done" to this kid to push him off the deep end.
Here's the thing. In 144 pages, he never says, "I asked her out and she said no". Never once. Now, if you're getting actively rejected, that sucks. It does. I've asked out guys and been told no thanks. It happens, and it hurts, and you get over it.
But I never sat there thinking, "I should have guys paying attention to me because I'm all that and a bag of chips."
You have to put yourself out there. Smiling at a rando in class and not getting a warm response isn't putting yourself out there.
It's going to be tempting for people to lay blame on something for this. I'm sure since he played a lot of video games, they'll come under scrutiny. It wasn't the games. I can assure you that they kept him occupied and off the streets so that it didn't happen sooner.
It wasn't sorority girls, who, to be fair, aren't put on this earth to stroke the ego of every man.
 |
| Me and my Big Sis, Amy. Don't we look vapid and inaccessible? No, we don't. |
Do we blame his shrinks/life coaches/socialization counselors (seriously, read the manifesto)? Maybe a little. But this kid was a Grade A manipulator. He fooled the police into thinking he was a nice, polite boy. I'm sure he lied to his therapists repeatedly.
Do we blame the system for allowing someone of his fragile mental state to purchase a gun? In my opinion, yes. YES! But then, if he fooled his therapists, couldn't he fool a gun seller? Probably.
So... then what?
As usual, The Onion nailed it.
ae
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