Restore Settings?

When something big happens, my first inclination is to get things back to "normal" as soon as possible.

I was like that when 9/11 happened.  That very night, I went to a play rehearsal, against my parents wishes.  But the show must go on, right?

Several years earlier, when my grandmother died, I had an Improv class that evening, and my father encouraged me to go because, "Life is for the living".

I should put a ring on it.

So, when Dad died, I was wondering just how fast I could get back to some semblance of normal.

And for me, the first benchmark for that seemed to be Facebook. 

It's totally dumb, and I know it, but FB is my favorite forum for personal expression. Even more so than my blog. I have a good number of friends on there, and they seem to enjoy what I post.  I've had friends of friends friend me because they think I'm funny.  And I'm fine with that.  I'm good with funny.  It's in my wheelhouse, my comfort zone.

When Dad got sick, I went off the grid for over a week.  I liked a few things, I privately messaged a few people, but no posts.

And still no posts after he died.  Even though there were ridiculous things I wanted to put out there, it was too private.

An example?  OK - a family friend came over, took one look at Mom and said, "Oh you're so cute, you'll have someone new in no time."
Yeah, he totally said it.

Finally, the day before Dad's memorial, my sister and I agreed we would put something simple on FB at the same time.  Everyone we'd wanted to tell personally had been told.  So, it went out.  And I got an outpouring of support and love, which felt overwhelming and a little icky.  Remember how awhile ago I talked about spending a half day at the spa and I felt a little over-touched and sick?  It was like that again.  Without the benefit of cucumber water and naked time on a heated table.

Anyway, I posted a sincere thanks the next day, then waited a little longer to post again.  I didn't have anything especially funny to say, and I didn't want any more sympathy.

Yesterday, I decided it's time to be authentic again.  I had something kind of funny, so I put it out there and got some tepid replies.  Then about an hour later, I had something really funny.  Normally, I don't post back to back, but whatever.  I put it out there. 

And the response reminded me of why I post on Facebook.  It went over gangbusters.

So, now that's one hurdle I've jumped.

I can only assume there are a few hundred left.