I woke up this morning, on a weekend, no less, at 7AM.

I was having a crazy anxiety dream and couldn't breathe.  It doesn't help that I'm a walking land mass, and that having gorged on cheese yesterday, my sinuses are slapped shut.  I woke up with my heart pounding and short of breath.

Again, that could have been my size and sinuses as a contributor.

Lots of weird dreams last night, though.  I spent a lot of the night dreaming about mistaken identities and elevators.  It was kind of farcical.

The one that left me gasping for air this morning was a that I was preparing to go into a standardized test.  What was being tested and why, who knows?  Doesn't matter.  What does matter is that I had been preparing for it with sample tests, etc.  So it must have been important to me.

When I arrived at the testing center, I was dismayed to learn I would be taking the test, not alone in a quiet room as I'd been practicing, but in a large, crowded communal space with a lot of people whose motives and etiquette I couldn't trust.

I was struggling to even sign in on the roster, using my multi-character test code as a unique identifier.

I came back to the desk I had selected and found that someone had moved all my stuff to a different desk.  And that freaked me out.

I think the interpretation, if you want one, is that I feel like I'm being tasked with things I don't fully understand or don't want to do, and I don't have any control over how I even get to do them.

This week is going to be a lot of that.

We are having our large departmental meeting.  I find many of my colleagues to be nice people, but spending a whole day with them confined to a room will wear me down.

We're being tasked to present materials, but we're not being given a choice on how to do so, and our processes are not up for debate on how to improve it.

I'm very frustrated with a lot of what's going on in the department and with the company, so it's going to be hard to sit there and grit my teeth, when what I want to do is stand up and scream, "The Cake is a LIE!!!"

That's a video game reference and a hilarious one at that.

Also, what wouldn't I give for some cake?  That's a problem.

The shiny pearl in this slimy mass of oyster snot is that my colleague and friend, Jim, will be there on the worst of the days.  He can help keep me in check.

And I'll need it.