Lone Ranger

For reasons that don't actually matter at the moment, I didn't have to report to my customer site today, but I couldn't get an early flight home.

So, I stayed here.  At my hotel.

By 11AM, I was losing my mind with boredom.  I just wanted to go back to bed.

I've been reading a lot about introverts and extroverts lately, and I can't decide which I am.  I mean, when I'm with people, all I can think about is getting a little time to myself and relaxing.

When I'm alone, I feel an intense need to connect.

I don't know - I may just be a nutjob.

I remember when I was 20.  I went to Montreal by myself for a week.  Why not?

I went specifically to see live comedy at the Just for Laughs festival.

And I remember being acutely lonely during the week at various times, and then specifically the last day there.  I had done everything.  Everything that I wanted to do, had read about doing... I was done.

So I went and bought a thick, fat paperback (Maeve Binchy's Glass Lake) and I just sat and read it at the bus station where I would catch the shuttle to the airport.

I had way too much time to kill and even if I was going to be hours early to the airport, I still had too much time.  I sat reading for probably two hours before I got to the airport two hours early.

Now, I very nearly went back to a strange man's apartment for coffee - it was a lost in translation kind of moment - he invited me for coffee - I thought he meant at a cafe.  His name was Roy.  I managed to get out of it with a little white lie once I realized I was in over my head.

But that's really the only connection I made.  I wandered through this amazing city by day, and sat watching incredible shows at night, and I was completely alone.

It was honestly fine, until it wasn't.  But I look back on that, and I feel sad that I didn't have a friend with me on that trip.  No one to talk with and make plans or share the experience with.

Fast forward nearly eighteen years.

Tonight, I got dressed to have dinner at a nice place, one I've eaten at before.  I sat alone, ate alone...

Uh.  Yeah...

And came home.  I did talk with one of my favorite customers today, as well as one of my colleagues.  I finally connected with Matt today, and Mom - and then Jim called on my way home.

So, it's not as though I went without contact all day.  But I feel kind of bleh and sick.

I'm packed for tomorrow - just need to throw in my toiletries and laptop in their bags tomorrow and I am ready to go.

I haven't slept well on this trip, and although I've eaten reasonably, for the most part, I haven't been as active as I could be.

I plan to hit up some serious Zumba over the weekend.

And do some laundry.

And get ready to head to Seattle. 

Oh, yes - did I mention?  I am going to do a Seattle run Tuesday.  Back Wednesday.

I think the rest of the year is going to be ridic with travel.  I need to figure out a way to feel connected, get some balance and stay the course.

I'm self-prescribing a regimen of lots of cold water, sunlight, fresh air, exercise, good food and sleep.

But first, a new episode of Project Runway.

Because I need a little bitchy fashion before bedtime.