I'm not vain, but...

My loved ones have begun asking what I'd like for Christmas - I need to put together a little list, and I was daydreaming about it as I was driving in.

As it turns out, I'm kind of vapid this year.

I was catching a quick glance in the rearview mirror and thought, "Hmm, maybe a little botox for Christmas."

And then I thought, "...And maybe whiten the teeth a little, get the eyebrows good and waxed.  A Boot Camp session or two..."

So, you know - that's me. Maybe I should ask for some tanning while I'm at it - colored contact lenses.  A dye job.  A Brazilian Butt Lift?

Here's the wish list, for reals:

- Socks.  I always need them.  Black, knee high.  Identical.  I want 5 days worth of worry-free sock options.

- Work-out clothes. Because it's hard to shake my groove thing if I'm feeling frumpy.  I desperately need sports bras in particular, because I need to be contained.

- New earbuds.  Mine are starting to fray at the connection, and are getting a little crackly.  I don't require nice ones, but these are hilarious.

 - Magazine subscriptions - Southern Living and Mental Floss.  Because I'm nothing if not diverse.

- A SodaStream.  Because, making my own fizzy water is kind of appealing.  Of course, do I need another kitchen gadget?  No.

- Bath stuff.  Because getting clean is as much fun as getting dirty.  Or so says Mr. Bubble.

- A Thesaurus, because I use the word 'because' too much.

-  A book or two. It's not Christmas without a little lazy reading time.

- A pocket knife or small Gerber tool.  I lost mine to the TSA a few years ago.

-  An umbrella like the ones in Blade Runner:

I'm pretty sure I'm getting one.  If so, I'm stoked.  Seriously, how freaking cool is that?

Look, I don't NEED anything.  A new box of crayons is never a bad thing.

I love chapstick.

I'm easy.  I like the giving better than the getting, anyway.

But for real, if you did want to give me a few hits with the botox needle, I'd be delighted.

If you wanted to give me some botulism laced fruitcake to get started on that post-holiday weight loss, I'd be fine with that, too.