I think there's something you should know.

I love Thanksgiving.  Gravy, dressing, newspapers thick with ads (which I will never use because I think Black Friday shopping is evil)... what's not to love?

I got to pet my parents' pugs, eat, cook, and chill.

This is Maggie

This is The Dude

Now, we're onto Christmas.

Full disclosure?  I kind of hate Christmas.

I mean, I enjoy the idea of Christmas.  I like the magazine pictures of gingerbread houses, I like the thought of chestnuts roasting by an open fire.

I love thinking about the things I'd give as gifts, were money no object.

But money is an object.  And who has time to tend an open fire, let alone roast chestnuts?  Do they have a crock pot chestnut recipe?  And I'll be lucky to get my rum balls made this year, let alone so much as an outhouse made from gingerbread. Although, that would be hilarious.

I am kind of over Christmas music.  They're playing it now, full-time on one of my favorite stations, which means that I won't be hearing "Call Me Maybe" until the first of the year.  Sorry, Carly Rae Jepsen.  I tried.

I'm not, as I think you've gathered over the years, especially religious.  So I don't even really celebrate Christmas from that angle.

I'm basically depressed because there's not much daylight, and it's cold, and I'm itchy with dry skin, and my hands are cracking and splitting.

And I'm fat, and I'm broke, and the house is a mess and my dog is 14 years old and probably won't be here next Christmas.

I have started shopping, so at least there's that.

And Dipmas starts next Monday.

Tonight, I'm going to handle some issues we're having with our refrigerator, then maybe I'll put up our Christmas lights and wreath.

The "Fake It Til You Make It" school of psychology.



*The other two hos will be doled out over the season.