Here's why I'm not in Marketing (or Management)

Once a week, our CEO publishes his End of Week Thoughts. 

If I wrote them, here's what they'd look like:

My colleagues,

There’s no denying that Fall has arrived. Fall isn’t just a season, it’s a verb. It’s a call to action. So is Spring for that matter, but we can have that discussion in six months.

Now is the time to “fall” into some great business habits. Recently, I was reading a book entitled Slim Business for Fat Cats; A Green Belt’s Guide to Fiscal Fitness, and I learned a lot from it. I won’t spoil it for you, because you should read it yourself. I’d loan you my copy, but I really think you just need to go out and buy it.

In this book, I learned that there are four seasons, and that Fall is one of them. I think it’s important to remember that. Why? Because without any one season, the others would grind to a halt.

In the coming weeks, you’ll notice people becoming increasingly agitated and possibly frantic. You may notice people no longer working here who were here just a few minutes ago. Where did they go? Who should we contact in their absence? These are some of the beautiful mysteries of Fall. Some of your colleagues are literally “falling” off the face of the Earth.

I hope that if you have questions or concerns, you’ll internalize them. Just stuff them deep down and cover them up in something else. I find that food, alcohol and sex all make excellent distractions for problems. You may notice your health suffering? That’s just your body’s way of telling you to add more distractions.

Whatever you do, even if I tell you my door is open, I’m lying. My door may be open, but my mind is firmly shut.

Make it a great week!


*Head Mother Fucker In Charge