Bad jokes and long shallow rambles

Q:  What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

A:  Hot, cross bunnies.

I got a million of 'em, folks.

I was killing a few minutes this morning looking at weekly specials on the Kroger website when I realized that - damn, next Sunday is Easter.  EASTER.

I've been eating the Russell Stover Maple Cream Eggs for weeks, but it never really sunk in.

Unfortunately, no small amount of these have sunk in... to my ass!

Matt and I don't have any big plans - I think I may cook something nice and light and spring themed - maybe even grill something.

Huh.  Not very festive.   Meh.

So last night I met some friends for dinner and clubbing.  This would be my gay friends.  Well, not all of my gay friends, but my subset of Nashville gay friends who enjoy dinner and clubbing.

Anyway.  My friend Jim had a friend in town, and they like to go to Play, where there's dancing.  And that's what we did.  I caught a glance of myself in the mirrors that lined the dance floor.  I'm totally adorable, yes - but we need to figure out the whole hair thing.  Namely, I need to get that massive mane cut.  And more to the point - it's time to get my shit together and lose the weight.  Stat.

I was thinking, as a goal, I want to be able to go back to Play the weekend after my birthday and be down 40 pounds.

That's basically seven months to lose it, and we know I can do it.

So, why the weekend after my birthday, you ask?

Well.  My birthday falls on a Saturday this year.  The Saturday before Halloween.  And according to my friends - that's a big party night for the gay set.  And since I'll likely be doing the family thing with Matt's cousins - and, I don't want to have to fight abnormal crowds for some space on the floor, I'm willing to give it a week.

Plus, one extra week to squeeze into a smaller pair of jeans, a smaller party shirt and whatnot.

Basically, and this is so shallow - but what it came down to is I saw a ton of what appeared to be chubby, unattractive straight girls hanging with their gay male friends, and I thought - well, sure I'm still cuter than most of them, but I've become an archetype - and a fairly unflattering one.  I want to be the fit, reasonably cute girl hanging out with her gay male friends.

Is it a date?  We'll assume it is.  I'll also work on my dance moves, which are a little... lame.

As for dates,  I have a date this morning.  A date...with destiny.

No, for real though - I'm getting an estimate on getting the kitchen rehabbed.  Pull out the cabinets, add new ones in a new reconfig.  New sink, new range, and new countertops.

Or - reface the existing cabinets, add on a new cabinet and add a new sink, new range, and new countertops.

It isn't going to be cheap.  But the heart wants what it wants.

I've done a ton of measurements, I have perused the colors of Corian and I think we have some winners, and I have a vague idea of the cabinets I want.  I also have some paint chips selected for the color we're going to eventually paint the kitchen.

As for the rest of the week...

We have training in house one morning with our Vanderbilt customers.

Matt and I are taking our friend James to his first live hockey game, and that is going to kick ass.

I need to make Lola a vet appointment - her annual.  And I don't want to because I know they're going to tell me she's not doing well.  Look, she's thirteen, and I know you want to do bunch of tests - but look, we know she's got congestive heart failure - she's dying, albeit slowly, and it's OK.  She's happy, she's comfortable, and she still eats, plays and loves us.  Let's let that be it.

Anyway, I should probably motivate a little and get ready for my day.

In addition to planning out my dream kitchen, I need to clean out the fridge and get some healthy food into my real kitchen.  I also need to finish laundry, and I was contemplating a quick visit at The Container Store.

I'm skipping Zumba this morning, but after several hours at Play last night, my core, such as it is, is sufficiently toned.

Also, just as a PS - we had dinner at The Pharmacy last night.  Excellent.  They do burgers and beer, and they do them well.

I'm such a mover and shaker!