I swear, I've been taking my meds.

I’m starting to realize that though I preach the virtues of being flexible and rolling with the punches, I occasionally find that I have trouble with that very thing.

Let’s take Zumba, for instance.

I have some pretty rigid beliefs as to the proper etiquette for that class and the people who attend.

Basically, it’s all about respecting the space of others.  And I have a spot in my Monday class that I prefer to be in.  I recognize that we don’t have assigned dance space, but I attend this class more often than not, so if you’re a Jill-come-lately, don’t get up in my space and expect me to be thrilled with your presence.

We also have a woman who is an instructor in the class prior to ours who sometimes stays over into our class and she bugs me.  Because she stands right up front crowding those of us who are regulars, she is distracting, and keeps chatting with her students who stayed on for a second class.  Come on Missy (and yes, that’s her name)!  Move to the back, shut your mouth and realize that it’s not all about you.  Also, that tattoo is trampy looking.

If you come in late, don’t expect to take your place right up front and center.  The class starts at 7:30 every Monday, so it’s not exactly a surprise that if you come in at 7:45, we’re going to be well into our routines.  So come in, get out of the way and catch up.

Get water whenever you want, but don’t block the view of the instructor.  If you are going to leave class early, don’t take up a spot in the front, and don’t take 5 minutes to gather all your crap you placed at the front of the room, thereby being rude, disruptive  and once again blocking our view of the instructor.

This isn’t an audition for FAME.  While we’re all going to modify our moves to suit our individual needs and limitations, your over the top jazz hands and exaggerated facial expressions aren’t going to get you noticed by one of the myriad talent scouts who have nothing better to do than cruise the local Ys for potential Gwen Verdons. 

Dress appropriately.  We don’t need to see your good china. Wear clothes that will cover all the essential bits and pieces.  And by the way, pajama jeans are not workout attire.  I’m not trying to stifle your ability to express your unique personality, I just hate pajama jeans, and I don’t want to see your ass cheeks.  I don’t even know you.  Please don’t get me started on the woman who dresses like she left her rehearsal of a community theatre production of Godspell to go to her job as a street mime.  

I think we can all agree that this is annoying.

Don’t assume.  Skinny girls screw up moves and fat girls can dance.  We’re all there to get our groove on – just relax, dance and smile.  It’ll be fine.