So, unless you live under a rock, you know that Whitney Houston died yesterday. I think she was very talented, and like many people with that kind of talent, she had demons that went with it.
I'll tell you several Whitney related memories from my life in no chronology whatsoever.
1. When I was in Sixth Grade, there was this girl in our chorus, who I'm going to call Brandi McKenzie. Not her real name, for reasons which are about to become clear. Brandi had a gift for belting out "The Greatest Love of All". What she lacked in pitch and diction, she made up for in volume. That, coupled with white guilt (BK was black), caused her to be trotted out at every assembly to belt it out over and over again. I remember thinking she wasn't especially talented, and my parents, after one memorable concert, noted the same thing. It was a case of the Emperor's New Clothing. My father used to imitate her questionable pronunciation (I bereave the churrun is the future...). And they brought her mother in one time to hear her, picked her up from her job at Krispy Kreme and brought her to the assembly and she's all decked out in hairnet and shit, crying. And our white prinicipal is beaming at how inclusive we are. Part two - Brandi was totally bitchy. I once congratulated (note, not complimented) her performance after a concert and she looked at me as if I smelled like rotten eggs and flounced off. Pitchy and bitchy. She disappeared after that year, and I haven't seen her records at Grimey's, so I can only assume that her career began and ended in the gym of Crabapple Middle.
2. Whitney guested on Silver Spoons one episode as a possible love interest for Dexter, Ricky's dad's lawyer. I feel pretty sure his name was Dexter. Shit, now I have to IMDB it. Hang on. Yep, Dexter Stuffins (no leading info in that name). He was Alfonso Ribeira's uncle in the series. So anyway, Whitney was on an episode and sang "Saving All My Love For You". And they changed the words from "making love the whole night through" to "holding each other the whole night through". Which, even back then I knew was the dumbest thing ever. Also, I didn't find Ricky Schroeder attractive, AT ALL. Unlike every other girl in the second grade. I was more into Jason Bateman's character, Derek Taylor. Smart girl. Needless to say Dexter and Whitney never knocked boots nor held each other the whole night though. She was gone after an episode.
3. In college, my senior year I lived with Anne, Kristen and Rachel. We had some good times (especially when Anne wasn't around), but one of my favorite things ever was Kristen changing the song lyrics to "I'm shavin' off my muff for yooooooooou".
4. My senior year of high school, our prom theme was "I Will Always Love You". No pressure there for you and your date, kids. As it turned out, for my date, our always lasted until April of the following year. He currently lives in Washington (not far from Seattle, actually) with his wife and two daughters. Maybe the theme should have been "I Will Always FB Stalk You" which would have been far more accurate.
Rest in Peace, Whitney.
I'll tell you several Whitney related memories from my life in no chronology whatsoever.
1. When I was in Sixth Grade, there was this girl in our chorus, who I'm going to call Brandi McKenzie. Not her real name, for reasons which are about to become clear. Brandi had a gift for belting out "The Greatest Love of All". What she lacked in pitch and diction, she made up for in volume. That, coupled with white guilt (BK was black), caused her to be trotted out at every assembly to belt it out over and over again. I remember thinking she wasn't especially talented, and my parents, after one memorable concert, noted the same thing. It was a case of the Emperor's New Clothing. My father used to imitate her questionable pronunciation (I bereave the churrun is the future...). And they brought her mother in one time to hear her, picked her up from her job at Krispy Kreme and brought her to the assembly and she's all decked out in hairnet and shit, crying. And our white prinicipal is beaming at how inclusive we are. Part two - Brandi was totally bitchy. I once congratulated (note, not complimented) her performance after a concert and she looked at me as if I smelled like rotten eggs and flounced off. Pitchy and bitchy. She disappeared after that year, and I haven't seen her records at Grimey's, so I can only assume that her career began and ended in the gym of Crabapple Middle.
2. Whitney guested on Silver Spoons one episode as a possible love interest for Dexter, Ricky's dad's lawyer. I feel pretty sure his name was Dexter. Shit, now I have to IMDB it. Hang on. Yep, Dexter Stuffins (no leading info in that name). He was Alfonso Ribeira's uncle in the series. So anyway, Whitney was on an episode and sang "Saving All My Love For You". And they changed the words from "making love the whole night through" to "holding each other the whole night through". Which, even back then I knew was the dumbest thing ever. Also, I didn't find Ricky Schroeder attractive, AT ALL. Unlike every other girl in the second grade. I was more into Jason Bateman's character, Derek Taylor. Smart girl. Needless to say Dexter and Whitney never knocked boots nor held each other the whole night though. She was gone after an episode.
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| I think we're all in agreement that Dexter was on the down-low, right? |
3. In college, my senior year I lived with Anne, Kristen and Rachel. We had some good times (especially when Anne wasn't around), but one of my favorite things ever was Kristen changing the song lyrics to "I'm shavin' off my muff for yooooooooou".
4. My senior year of high school, our prom theme was "I Will Always Love You". No pressure there for you and your date, kids. As it turned out, for my date, our always lasted until April of the following year. He currently lives in Washington (not far from Seattle, actually) with his wife and two daughters. Maybe the theme should have been "I Will Always FB Stalk You" which would have been far more accurate.
Rest in Peace, Whitney.
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