I'm headed to Seattle next week for work, and since Southwest doesn't offer in-flight wifi (perhaps the only thing Delta does "better"), I will need some reading material. I don't want to spend a lot of money, so this morning, I did a search at Amazon for free stuff I could throw onto the Kindle.
Well, as it turns out, I haven't looked at the free stuff in ages. And...
As it also turns out - you know how we thought I was super cool and hip? Well...yeah, I'm not.
See, Kindle has a lot of free content that is basically...porn. And, you know, I like porn - well, I don't actually like porn - I think it's pretty hilarious - but I understand that men are visually stimulated and that men like porn. So that's fine with me.
I guess technically, since this is written material, it qualifies as erotica. Again, I'm down with that.
Except - there was some fairly specific content on Amazon. I submit, for your amusement:
*A is for Anal
*The Madame X School of Sex
*Elf Bitten; A Taryn Milloy Fantasy
*Stepdad Likes to Watch (Insatiable Stepdaughter)
*Bheca's Time at College With Jennifer [this is the worst title ever, seriously]
*Free Fuck - A Stranger Gangbang
*Skip Day with Brother
*Naughty Puppies [not a mis-shelved Children's Book]
*How to Eat Another Man's Wife
*The married guy's guide to (extra-marital) guilt-free sexual excitement - without cheating [actually, this title is pretty bad, too]
*Rachel Rabbit is Rarin' to Go
*Pounding My Mother-In-Law [author's name is Raminar Dixon...yep]
and possibly, my favorite - the reason I even decided to post...
*Santa Enters Through The Back Door
I could go on here. For hours.
No, I didn't download any of it.
But it made me realize that people out there are a lot freakier than I give them credit for.
Different strokes for different folks.
But if they can get that stuff up on Amazon... why again, am I not a bestseller?
Maybe I should crank out some hilarious fictitious sexploits, slap on my porno nom de plume (Wyntri Mixxx) and make a little cash.
And then, you know - finish the great American novel and cement my name in history forever. Under my real name.
Yeah, I'll let you know...