A Jump on Black Friday

Dear Santa,

Times being what they are, it's not even Thanksgiving yet, but I thought I'd make life easy on you and give you a few ideas for me, in re: Christmas.

I've been reasonably nice this year - and naughty when applicable.  I don't deserve a lot, but a few little trifles and gewgaws are never inappropriate.

So I'll give you a few to choose from:

- A small umbrella, and I mean tiny.  Like this.  Available at Kohl's, Target, WalMart, etc.  I do love a jaunty print or cheery color.

- Kitchen shears.  Bed Bath and Beyond has them.  All kinds.  And cheap.  There's a coupon on the fridge if you need it.

- I am desperate for new bras.  I mean, it's getting ugly.  I don't expect you to know how to handle that.  Maybe Mrs. Claus can help you.  She'd probably have me go to Rebecca Vaughn or Soma or something.

- I always love new sleepwear, and Kohl's has some pretty things.  I would probably need an XL in whatever you like.  I kind of dig the Little House on the Prairie look, but if you think my husband would prefer something a little more ooh la la, I'll be grateful for whatever I get.

- Exercise stuff.  New Year, New Fitness Goals - I wouldn't say no to a good sports bra, or a small, sturdy MP3 player of some kind.   Or some good socks.

- A subscription to Southern Living.  Because I like to pretend that I'm going to use their ideas when I refurb my imaginary coastal bungalow.

- A gift certificate to The Container Store.  I don't normally like the delayed gratification of gift cards, but I think we both know organizing isn't my strong suit.

- A frilly apron.  They sell them at places like Hot Pink, you know  - next to The Puffy Muffin.  Honestly, Santa, was there ever a more unfortunate pairing of store names?  Still a full apron in a fun floral print...would be killer.

-  Who wouldn't want this?  Someone without my incredibly dry, cracked hands - that's who.

- If you wanted to buy me a new backpack for work - I love anything by the folks at MadPax.  Orange, green, or any of the "faux dino" are best.  But the pink one has a certain je ne sais quoi.

- I've been eyeballing the new Mindy Kaling book, but it's tough now that I have a Kindle.  If you wanted me to have a Kindle Fire with a copy of that on it- I wouldn't say no.  Kidding - that's pretty low on the list.

- Anything from IKEA - a Blurg or a Kvorstad or a Bovlig.  In red.

- To steal from my friend's daughter Evie, whose mom posted her Santa letter on FB...Root beer.  Diet for me.  Barq's is good.

For you, I've leave rum balls, or sausage balls.  Or both.

I don't deserve all of this, or even half.  But in your infinite wisdom, I know you'll know what to do.