Where have all the theme songs gone?

I've loaned out a lot of good books over the years that I never got back - which reminds me - I've got several I'm holding hostage I need to return.

One I'll never see again was a book of TV Theme Songs which I let Alison Brown borrow in 7th Grade.

Did you know the theme song to Leave it to Beaver had words?  So did the Andy Griffith Show.  Thanks to the sticky fingers of Miss Brown, I'll never know what they were (unless I were to Google it, but whatever).

What makes me think of this is that this morning, I was standing in line at Dunkin Donuts, as I do every Wednesday morning.

Yes, I'm on Weight Watchers, but Wednesday evening I weigh in, so on Wednesday AM, I treat myself to a large iced coffee with skim.  It's filling, it tastes good and it has properties that aid in eliminatory function.  The less said, the better.

So, as I'm standing in line, Dunkin Donuts FM, or whatever they want to call it is blaring the theme song to Laverne and Shirley.  Which is upbeat and catchy and sooooooo dated.  I hadn't ever heard it outside the context of watching Cindy Williams and Penny Marshall - shlmiel/shlimazel their way through the streets of Milwaukee.

The thing is, I know all the freaking words.   I know the words (or for those without words, the tunes) to all of the following classic shows of my youth:

-Good Times
-Carol Burnett
-All in the Family
-The Jeffersons
-Sanford and Son (possibly the greatest show ever)
-One Day at a Time
-Mary Tyler Moore
-Three's Company
-The Addams Family
-Love Boat
-Facts of Life
-Gilligans Island
-Diff'rent Strokes

Funny story about that last one - the title of the theme from MASH is "Suicide is Painless" - when I was in college, my sorority co-opted it and changed the words.  I had a hard time not busting a gut during rush parties where we sang this song.

Now, remember - I grew up in Atlanta, where we had Channel 17.  Perhaps you'd recognize it as TBS.

Back before Ted Turner was a mogul, there was a sweet little UHF channel that showed syndicated awesomeness at five minutes after the hour and half hour.  Plus, all the Braves games you could stand to watch.

So, point of all this being, I really miss TV Theme songs - they don't do them like they used to.

I mean, I did love the instrumental opening for King of the Hill, and the opening for Arrested Development had a jaunty beat that I appreciated.  These days, I watch one sitcom - How I Met Your Mother - the theme song is about long enough for a ringtone.  I wonder if that's intentional?

So thirty years from now, what will they be playing on the loudspeaker at Dunkin?

Well, since I'll still be doing Weight Watchers, I'll let you know then.

Thoooooooose weeeeeeerrrrrrre theeeeeeee daaaaaaaayyyyyyyssssss.