As you know, I am something of a Zumba enthusiast. I just enjoy getting out there, moving to music and feeling good about myself.
I also like the people in my Monday night class – there’s a group of us who are around the same age – five of us in all, who all meet and chat after class. We talk work, we talk family, we talk about everything.
One of the women wondered last week if any of us had ever done a colon clease. None of us had. The general consensus was that the colon was a self-cleaning mechanism. One woman invoked the horrors of a colonscopy.
From there, we started talking feminine hygiene. The upshot is that these are unnecessary inventions made to convince women that we’re dirty and disgusting.
And I hate to be like that, but really…
When is the last time you cruised the aisles of the drugstore and saw any of the following:
Professor Tapthat’s Foreskin Salve (Baby Smooth In Minutes!)
Fromunda Exfoliating Scrub
Brothers Brand Ball Soak (Now in Ocean Fresh and Winter Hike)
Balmy Breezes Shaft Spray
Taint Tamer – Now With More Bleaching Action!
Pubic Pomade (Not a Hair Out of Place!)
Sac So Sweet –“Scrotpourri”
You don’t see these because dudes don’t care if their dicks smell like… dicks.
And so, ladies, I urge you. Shower, of course – use soap, wear cotton drawers… but don’t give into the urge to add chemicals to something that doesn’t need them.
Also, I have copyrighted the names of all the above products. Because although they don’t exist…maybe they should.