Scenes from a Franklin Strip Mall

So, as you may or may not know, I'm something of a people watcher.  And there are two new people who have caught my eye.

Enter Greg and Suzy.  They're the newest members of our Weight Watchers group, and they've been there and done that before.  A married couple in their 50s.  Heavy, but not alarming.  They were able to walk into the meeting without aid of a Jazzy Scooter.  She's kind of cute, but has a sharp nose that makes her look vaguely rodent-like.  He's built like a brick Mr. Potatohead on steroids.

Well, it's been awhile since they've done the meetings and they're not adapting well to the changes in the program.

Week one, after sign up, Suzy was frrrreeeeaking out because she gets 29 points a day, and that's what she used to get on the old program, only now Greg gets 53.  That can't be right, she decides, and three separate staff members calculate and determine it's right.  She keeps muttering about it all meeting.  I've just worked my way down to 29 points and I'm thrilled because that's as low as it will ever get, and it's completely do-able.

Week two.  Greg had a really good week - but he's a man, he probably has 70 pounds to lose, so what's 5 pounds to him.  Suzy is determined.  She asks for bread recommendations, and Greg has a few questions about E-Tools, and I have to hand it to them - even I'm not dedicated enough to pay extra and figure that shit out.

Week three - which is today.  Greg had a good week, but has to soft pedal it because Suzy is clearly dejected.  Apparently, though she says it quietly, she has now either gained for the second week straight, or lost very little for the second week straight.  Either way, she's pissed.   She once again says the points are too low, and adds that she never ate them all anyway.  I am tempted to turn around and tell her she's not eating enough, but the woman clearly doesn't need my help.  She does ask me and the other woman on my row, Elaine, how many points are in an Arby's sandwich.  I look it up, and don't find it, so I guestimate 6, and Elaine thinks maybe 8.  I now realize I should have stalled with a question about Horsey Sauce.

Since one of my favorite all-time lines in The Simpsons is, "I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's", I chalk it up to the fact that never eat there.

I then hear them discussing a box of popcorn they brought in and I hear her say, "Ask her she seems to know more" under her breath while pointing at Karen, who is a breast cancer survivor who lost 80 pounds on program, and shops at no less than 4 grocery stores a week, bringing us food finds for Show and Tell.  They query her about the popcorn, and she and another woman straighten them out.  I start talking to a lifetimer about her cute dress she got at Target.  It's super cute, and I now want one.

Eventually the meeting starts, and I provide comic relief by telling them that I used to always eat a bacon cheeseburger at Chili's To Go pre-flight...just in case the plane went down, I'd have had the perfect Last Supper.

It occurs to me that maybe I should consider standup again.

I get a Bravo sticker for my observations.

Karen shows off a few new products, and I learn that Cheryl, this lovely woman from New Orleans has been absent because her kid was involved in some accident. I never did find out, but if she's coming to meetings, surely all's well that ended well.

Oh. And by the way, down 3.8 pounds this week, so, nice.

We all pick up and head on our ways...Karen and her crew head over to the Chinese place for steamed veggies, and I'm vaguely ashamed to tell you I had Thai for dinner with Matt.  Red curry, and you know that means coconut milk.

I enjoyed the heck out of it.

So, I hope Suzy turns it around and that Greg has the sense to slow it down a little.  For the sake of their marriage.

A bottle of red?  A bottle of white?