Pensées Quotidiennes*

1. I actually kind of enjoyed listening to Christian Bale go apeshit on the set of his new movie - it was, using a term I coined in college - catharsis by proxy. Matt now refuses to go see anything he's made, but I'd rather hear him have an honest "losing it" moment than find out that Mel Gibson called a cop "sugar tits". Maybe I'm just weird like that.

2. The fact that Michael Phelps took a bong hit or six only makes me like him more. In full disclosure, I've never smoked pot, and doubt that I ever will. I have nothing against it - in fact, the reason I don't smoke it is because I'm afraid I'd really, really like it. Also, I don't need a drug to make me hungry and paranoid. I'm already hungry and paranoid. But come on - with his lung capacity, it would be a crime not to use his talents to get really, really high.

3. So, I pulled what I have Googled and determined to be an external oblique muscle - presumably during my efforts to represent, represent Cuba during Zumba class. It's a Zumba joke, and a dumb one at that - so roll with it. It hurt to put on socks this morning. Still, totally worth it.

4. This morning, some starlings have been congregating outside my office window. I'd love to invite them in to keep me company while I compile data. But, they have better things to do than watch me format databases, and who can blame them?

5. I have a sore throat. I read a comment recently that resonated with me - the source I've long since forgotten: "I had my tonsils until last year when they became sentient beings and tried to kill me." I can relate. I'd remove mine with a sharpened melon baller and a gallon of Vodka for anesthesia/antiseptic if I thought I wouldn't botch it and render myself mute. Because really, when your job depends on you answering phones, speaking is critical.

6. I also feel like I have an ear infection related to point #5. But the last time two times I've sought treatment for an ear infection, it turned out to be something else. The first time, I had waxy buildup (a job hazard when you wear a one-sided headset). The second time...high blood pressure. I'd hate to go in for a ear check and learn I had gout or rickets or something.

7. Tickets for Flight of the Conchords go on sale in an hour. I need six. Wish me luck.

Make it a great day.

* That's French for Daily Thoughts - it sounds pretty, doesn't it?