Pity, party of one - your table is now ready...

Laura often comments that I got the domestic gene. And it's true. I can hostess with the mostest, set a great table, create a menu, and get it all on the table at the same time. It's just something I can do without too much thinking required.

Luckily for Laura, she got the organization gene. She has a system, there are never piles of anything sitting in her house, and if I were to accidently wander into her junk drawer, there wouldn't be junk. She's organized - it's just something she does without too much thinking required.

It's not that I'm hopeless. But it feels that way.

As a kid, my desk at school was the one crammed full of papers. I was constantly losing, forgetting, and frustrated.

And unfortunately, I never grew out of that.

If I didn't know that I was smart, it would be easier.

What I mean by this is, if I thought I were just a stupid person to begin with, it wouldn't matter - I could blame this deficiency (and let's face it, all deficiencies) on general dullardness.

But I know I'm smart - how do I know? Well for one, the Middle Tennessee Mensa people sent me a prospective member newsletter. I can't trace the source, but suspect that buying a subscription to Mental Floss magazine for Matt's cousins is what put me on their mailing list.

But I also happen to know (and I wish I didn't) that if I were to test for Mensa, there's a good chance I'd be a contender. When I was in 4th Grade, they tested me to see if I had Attention Deficit Disorder - that was the catch-all diagnosis for kids whose grades inexplicably dropped. Well, they dropped, geniuses, because my best friend moved away, and I was depressed. But since they weren't hawking pills for depression back then, I got rubber stamped for Ritalin, which with a combination of some time to grieve, worked wonders.

Anyway - they threw an IQ test in with all the other crap (like the one where they show you a picture of a cow and you have to say what's missing, the one where you have to draw a picture of your house, etc.) and I happened to see my scores. So, empirically, if you believe the tests, I'm smart.

But I still can't keep a day-runner for more than a week, and that, mes amis, that is sheer dumbassitude. Which wouldn't bother me if I were inherently a dumbass. Which, I'm not. See previous paragraph.

Why am I mentioning this? Well, the Bossman and I had "the talk" (which I've had many, many times in my life with various people) about this opportunity for growth yesterday. And so, I'm not on double secret probation (or am I?), but he wants me to come up with a plan. He wants to help me help myself.

A plan? Why don't I plan to spend the rest of my days working in Metaphysical Bookstore selling crystals and unicorn farts? Why don't I start a puppy mill in my basement and breed cut-rate Point-Setters and Bull Shih-Tzus? Maybe I should plan to read another book about time management that doesn't apply to me and won't help me. I'll add it to the pile I already started - or maybe I'll start a new pile.

After freaking out a little about coming up with a plan, it came to me last night as if it were in a dream. So this morning, having created a plan, I went to Wal-Mart to commence execution of said plan. I bought an inexpensive 2009 Planner (let's see how that goes) and a binder that's going to hold a daily log (which I will be printing on neon green paper so it doesn't get lost in the shuffle). I also bought myself some pens in assorted colors so I wouldn't feel so bad about the fact that I tested chaos-positive. Today was my first day of the rest of my organized life, and so far, so good.

So... that's the plan. I'll keep you posted. Or, hell, check my day-runner, if you can find it.


Unknown said…
I always had a messy desk too, messy handwriting, messy hair - ack! And I have trouble remembering crap and swear I have asked Cole to send me the same doc 3 times...anyway...you have been extra hard on yourself this week which will probably intensify the pressure you feel to keep up with the day planner which could then in fact lead to it's downfall. I think the planner and neon paper and pens are all excellent ideas - especially the easy to find neon paper - brilliant! But I also think you need to focus on some of your awesome qualities and look at the planner as a fun game rather than a chore. I of course have no idea how you look at it now but I'm putting it out there :) You can DOOOO IT!