Monday eKvetch

So, we're allegedly going to pop in Master and Commander in a few minutes, so I'll make this quick.

Three things that bug me:

1. Overuse of the word "fetish". Why not say you're a footwear enthusiast or a stiletto maven? When you tell me you have a shoe fetish, I can't help but wonder if you're truly into shoes sexually, or you just have a deficient vocabulary. Tellingly, though - I went to look up "fetish" at, and wouldn't you know - there's a banner add at the top of the screen for Sexy Shoes. I'm just saying.

2. Speaking of shoes, as if we needed further proof that I'm an asshole who shouldn't have kids, is there anything more annoying than the sneakers that turn into skates? I'm constantly hoping to see some kid who just whizzed by me in the soup aisle at Kroger bust his ass in front of the meat counter. I saw two or three wheeled ankle-biters at the mall this weekend, and I really, really hate those friggin' skate-shoes. I can barely keep my balance without wheels. How the hell do they do it? I figured they were like the Razor Scooter, a trend that would die quickly. But just when I go a week without seeing a kid with them, they're out in full force again.

3. Greg Evans, creator of the comic strip Luann: I've been reading your strip since it started - when Luann and I were both twelve. I'm now 33. She's 16. Come on, pal. I have no sympathy when she bitches about her love life, her English paper, not having a car, whatever. She can have my mortgage payment, responsibilities to family, and my slowed metabolism. Then she can bitch all day long. Of course, then she'd be Cathy...aaack!

That's all. For now.